


Dreamers of Dreams

by HoddieMaine, Ninke_A



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Explicit Language, Insecure Lance, Langst, M/M, PINING KEITH, Waking Dreams, Warning: Lotor Sucks, evil lotor, pining lance, pining shiro, possible trigger warning, sharing dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 00:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11196993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoddieMaine/pseuds/HoddieMaine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninke_A/pseuds/Ninke_A
Summary: Fog faded in and out. It filtered through the air like smoke as he strained to see through it. He was just able to make out the shore of a lake. The craggy rocks should have been difficult to traverse, but his steps were sure. Was it cool here? Warm? He lifted straining eyes to the heavens, but all around was shifting tones of grey. There was an uneasiness pricking at the back of his neck, but it was hard to put his finger on the discomfort. The lake seemed to be the only thing he could focus on. The lake, and the crying. It felt like it enveloped him as much as the fog had. Soft sobs, and sniffles came from every direction, echoing in his ears. No matter which way he walked, he couldn’t seem to get any closer to the source.





	Dreamers of Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> A joint effort by HoddieMaine and Ninke_A
> 
> It was a little tiny idea and it bloomed into this huge creation! 
> 
> HoodieMaine was the writing behind Shiro, Keith, Allura and occasionally Pidge
> 
> Ninke_a was the writing behind Lance, Coran, Hunk, Lotor and occasionally Pidge

_Fog faded in and out. It filtered through the air like smoke as he strained to see through it. He was just able to make out the shore of a lake. The craggy rocks should have been difficult to traverse, but his steps were sure. Was it cool here? Warm? He lifted straining eyes to the heavens, but all around was shifting tones of grey. There was an uneasiness pricking at the back of his neck, but it was hard to put his finger on the discomfort. The lake seemed to be the only thing he could focus on. The lake, and the crying. It felt like it enveloped him as much as the fog had. Soft sobs, and sniffles came from every direction, echoing in his ears. No matter which way he walked, he couldn’t seem to get any closer to the source._

 

_Then, he heard something else, faint, and difficult to make out. Faint violins.. fading into sorrowful music, that seemed to intermingle with the sobs, weaving easily together as the fog did the air. Even he, who prided himself on his control, felt the urge to cry. He tried to train his ears to the sound, and though the soft crying seemed to invade from everywhere, maybe even from within his own head, there was a pull in his gut and his feet seemed to move of their own accord. He found himself wading into the dark lake, his reflection mirrored up at him. The ripples seemed to stretch out forever as the cold water rushed up his torso and past his head. He walked along the muddy bottom of the lake and still the crying was all around him, he could feel the vibrations in his chest. A particularly sharp sob caused him to gasp, lungs finally filling with water._

 

He abruptly sat up in bed.

 

Shiro and Keith’s skin stuck together from the light sheen of sweat. What time was it? Keith rubbed the sleep from his eyes as Shiro tried to untangle them a bit. Shiro was prone to nightmares, this wasn’t news to anyone, but they didn’t usually wake up to them both upright. Keith tried to reach back out and embrace sleep, what had he been dreaming about? He didn’t often dream. Shiro padded over to the small washroom off his bedroom, hopefully if Keith was able to go back to sleep, he wouldn’t feel so guilty for waking him. His nightmares were not going to ruin this good thing they had just started.

 

Things were tentative, they were fresh and new and still very much _theirs._ Maybe a little awkward at times, but they were getting there. Shiro hadn’t felt something this right in awhile. They weren’t even dating officially, but after Keith had accidentally fallen asleep in his bed one night while they were talking, it had become a bit of a thing. They just seemed to sleep so much better in the same bed. At least Shiro knew he did.

 

Keith came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Shiro’s waist as he brushed his teeth. He sleepily nuzzled into his back. Shriro smiled around the Altean version of a toothbrush, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world to be able to see Keith Kogane soft and warm from sleep, his brash guard down. Shiro rinsed his mouth out and spun to return the embrace.

 

“Couldn’t get back to sleep,” Keith groggily mumbled. “You left.”

 

Shiro felt a warmth in his chest to match the heat in his cheeks.

 

“Sorry.” He carded his hand through Keith’s unruly hair. “Weird dreams.”

 

Keith made a noise in response. Shiro kissed the top of his head and Keith let him go to get ready for the day. Shiro was patiently waiting by the door for his other half to finish getting ready. Once Keith was as put together as he was going to get, Shiro opened the door and led the way to the common areas. He could feel the bags under his eyes, and by the sound of Keith’s heavy footfalls, he wasn’t fairing much better.

 

They rounded the corner to find the rest of their teammates already around the table. It was rare that they weren’t the first up and about.

 

“I have to say, that was seriously weird.” Pidge announced, not paying any attention to the new arrivals. They were hunched over a steaming cup of something that Hunk had managed to make taste like coffee. Hunk was pushing goo around his plate, and Lance was smiling, from his place across the table.

 

“Pidgey, you are the vicious little sister I never had, and we have seen some weird sh..” Lance bit off his words, catching Shiro out of the corner of his eye. “Things. But, are you seriously trying to get me to believe something that.. impossible?” He shook his head, ignoring the glare they sent him. “Nope, not today. Lance is not falling for any tricks today.”

 

He pushed back from the table, an empty cup of his own sitting there, but no sign of a plate. “Well, before Allura runs in here to start training, I’m going to change so she doesn’t yell at me today. Later.” He flashed Keith and Shiro a grin as he slipped out of the room.

 

Hunk frowned a bit. “Are you guys feeling okay? You look… uh..um.. A little worn down.”

 

Keith shrugged, non-committal as ever, as he took the spot that would have been next to Lance. Shiro tried not to wince. It wasn’t like they were going to tell them they kept waking each other up. That would sound a lot filthier than it was. Instead he tried to look as commanding as possible, and lied through his teeth.

 

“We planned out new battle techniques early this morning, we’ll be training on them first thing today.”

 

Keith just barely kept from snorting. How did no one else ever see how terrible Shiro was at lying? Shiro sat a few seats away from Keith. Keith rolled his eyes while no one was paying attention. Shiro tried too hard to hide what they had going on, whatever it was, but Keith would support him if he wanted to keep it on the down low a little bit longer. Although, how good a job they were doing was up for debate. Keith was pretty sure Pidge had caught them sharing a quiet moment in the hall one night.

 

Pidge pouted. “I have a supernatural incident, and he worries because they look sleepy. Ugh.” They stood, cradling their cup. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’m going to join Lance… He at least, listened.” They stormed out of the room.

 

Despite Pidge being extra snappy that day, training went smoothly. Lance had insisted that he needed to work on his dodging, and surprisingly Allura had agreed with him, So the team was on one side of the training room while Lance was alone on the other side. After lunch they switched to individual training, with Coran offering commentary from the control room and Allura bemoaned their lack of progress.

 

Afterward, Hunk banned everyone from the kitchen, Pidge banned everyone from her workshop, Allura dragged Shiro into the Command room, leaving Keith to train and wander as he pleased, while Lance was coerced into cleaning with Coran.

 

Coran was actually starting to get a bit concerned. Lance hadn’t complained once, he just kept wiping down the windows until not even Coran could find a flaw, then he had actually asked what else needed done. Coran felt close to all the paladins, but he would be the first to admit that Lance was his favorite. Lance reminded him of himself when he was younger, wanting to stand out, to be special, be needed.

 

“Lance, is everything alright?”

 

“Hmm? Oh yeah, sure.” A smile appeared on Lance’s face like magic, but Coran felt that it seemed a bit forced.

 

“I can tell something is bothering you.” Coran curled the left side of his moustache around a finger. “I will of course keep your secrets, and the mice are with Allura currently.”

 

“It’s really nothing… Just.. wishing for something I can’t have.” Lance paused, before grinning again. “I’ll tell you if it changes. Promise.”

 

. . .

 

“God, I think I actually pulled something,” Keith grumbled, wincing as he pulled his shirt over his head, flinging it on Shiro’s floor.

 

“Did you train the whole time I was with Allura?” Shiro came up behind him, strong hands kneading the sore flesh near his shoulder.

 

“No. I… walked for a little bit… uhn, right there,” Keith sighed.

 

“You mean you checked on everyone? Biggest secret in the universe is how much of a softie Keith Kogane really is.”

 

Keith smirked. “You’re kind of cute when you’re focusing.”

 

“Kind of?”

 

Keith laughed and turned in Shiro’s arms. “Ok, really cute, better?”

 

Shiro kissed him. Just a chaste meeting of lips, but god did he want more. Keith pulled back to look him in the eyes.

 

“Pidge had me locked out and you don’t mess with Hunk’s kitchen, so I really just checked on you and Lance.”

 

“Oh yeah, and was he kind of cute while cleaning,” Shiro teased.

 

“Shut up.” Keith blushed. “Actually he seemed kind of off… but he was cleaning with Coran, so I guess that’s kind of normal.”

 

Shiro hummed his acknowledgement as he pulled away to get ready for bed. They made quick work of shedding their clothes and settled into the bed. Shiro pulled Keith into him, the bed was a tight fit, but he really didn’t mind. It was nice having to share such a small space. Keith was out the moment they were settled. Shiro admired his ability to fall asleep so quickly, it was never something he’d been very good at. He watched the deep rise and fall of Keith’s chest, counted his breaths and felt the beat of his heart. It was like a lullaby to him now. After losing count a few times, he drifted into sleep.

 

. . .

 

I _t was like bells chiming. The ringing in his ears was louder than their lions during take off. His feet sunk in the muddy ground. He should be scared, he realizes as his feet stick more and more with each step. Has he been here before? Dark shades of blue and green swirl in every direction. Everything feels weightless, like if his feet weren’t stuck, he might float away. Into the sky? He looked up, but the light was so far away, and it shimmered like a mirage. He could feel a sob erupt from his chest and watched as bubbles gentled floated up and away from him._

 

_He wrapped his cold arms around himself. Loneliness like he had never known in his entire life crashed over him in waves. A sharp pain in his chest that he was pretty sure had nothing to do with the lack of air down here. He wanted to call out, but he was sure no one was there for him._

 

_The mud pulled at his body like quicksand and he began trying to claw himself out, to get himself free. Even under the water, he knew he was crying. The sobs all around him. Within him, vibrating with every shaking breath. The muddy lake bed crushed his chest, making it impossible to breath in a way the water somehow hadn’t. Like a boa constrictor, it snaked up and around his throat, pulling him further in._

 

_As the last bit of air he could hold onto left his lungs, he could hear in a voice that did not belong to him, “Make it stop.”_

 

“Fuck!” Keith grabbed onto Shiro as they nearly toppled out of the bed. For how cold the room seemed to be, they were both drenched in sweat. Shiro just barely caught them, the panic in his eyes mirroring just how Keith felt.

 

“Jesus, Keith, what happened? Usually it’s me waking us up.”

 

He couldn’t catch his breath. His chest was heaving.

 

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, you’re awake, you’re ok, it was just a dream.” Shiro rubbed solid hands up and down his arms, his brow creased with growing concern. “It’s ok, Keith, Babe, it’s alright.”

 

His panicked breathing slowly began returning to normal, but the terrified itch under his skin wouldn’t go away. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was all alone despite the fact that Shiro was right in front of him, whispering gentle words to calm him. Keith met his eyes and pulled away.

 

He stumbled to the washroom and stuck his head under the faucet as it sprayed cool water. He didn’t have to look to know that Shiro had followed him. Shiro worried that maybe some of his sleeping issues were beginning to rub off on Keith. When Keith finally stood up, Shiro already had a towel in hand and began to dry off Keith’s dark locks.

 

“Do you want to talk abo-”

 

“It was just a dream, Shiro.”

 

“Yes, it was, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t upset you.”

 

Keith stomped back into the bedroom, raking his fingers through his damp hair.

 

“It was just a dream. Just a weird fucking dream and I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Ok… well, take it from me, dreams can really mess you up, and sometimes it’s good for you to talk about them.”

 

“Don’t be a hypocrite.” There was only a little bite to that, Keith swears.

 

“What, you want me to talk about my dreams?” Fuck, Keith knew he’d messed up. “The ones where I’m back in the arena, or the ones where you guys get hurt, or how about the ones where I’m drowning in a lake, huh? Which-”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“Are you serious, Keith-”

 

“No, wait, what about drowning?”

 

Keith had stepped closer to Shiro, and Shiro stopped short at the mixture of fear and something like hope on Keith’s face. Those were not emotions he frequently saw on Keith.

 

“Lately my dreams have been kind of… different? Less brutal, but no less terrible. Mostly about a lake and crying, and the sound of music both distant and inside my head.”

 

“And you’re drowning sort of? You’re at the bottom of the lake and you can’t breath?”

 

“And the lake bed is swallowing you.”

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Shit.”

 

“Are we having the same dream?”

 

. . .

 

Pidge slammed their hands on the table, glaring across it at Lance. “Listen, I am telling you I saw Hunk’s dream!”

 

Keith and Shiro walked into the the room just in time to see Lance slide his mug even closer to him and away from Pidge’s heavy fists.

 

This time it was Lance that wasn’t paying any attention to the ones hovering in one of the doorways. “Okay, say I believe you. How? How do you know it was Hunk’s dream? Did you ask him what he dreamed? How would something like that even happen?”

 

Pidge blinked, then turned their glare to Hunk.

 

“Hunk…” The tone was a warning. “Did you dream about sushi and strawberry milkshakes dancing hand in hand in a field of flowers?”

 

Hunk promptly blushed and Lance almost dropped his mug. “Are you serious??”

 

“Lance, you know that strawberry milkshakes are high on my favorites list… and there was no where to get decent sushi near the Garrison…” His cheeks were still red, but Lance oddly, did not tease him any more.

 

Keith had practically barrelled down the halls in search of Pidge, Shiro jogging to keep up with him, but now that they were hearing the stark difference in the type of dream being shared, it made the admission seize up in their throats, still, they needed to tell their teammates.

 

“That’s fair… But, still how could Pidge see your dreams? That’s just.. Weird.”

 

“At least, they weren’t your dreams… Those are probably all girls and bad jokes.” Pidge muttered, dropping back into their seat.

 

“First, rude. I would dream of girls and boys equally, thank you very much. There are all kinds of pretty people out there and I will not limit myself to only half of them. Second, rude. You have no idea what I dream about, just like I don’t know what you dream about. Third, my question remains unanswered. How?”

 

Keith had just taken a step forward to finally interject since these chatterboxes barely breathed between sentences, when Lance’s words caught up to him. Suddenly he was frozen where he stood.

 

Hunk shrugged. “Well, we can see in each other’s head hole while we train… Maybe it’s like.. an earthquake? You know, every so often there is an aftershock?”

 

Pidge drained their mug. “That’s as reasonable an explanation as any. But, why just us? I mean, it’s not like you would keep quiet about weird dreams…”

 

“Rude.”

 

“... and Shiro would mention it if it was him, Keith probably wouldn’t though…” One hand came up, adjusting their glasses. “I think I’m going to run some tests… Hunk, come on, let’s go get started.” They stood and Hunk followed along willingly enough.

 

Lance sighed, just once, then stood. “Training for one it is…” He shook his head and  followed after the other two.

 

Shiro put his hand reassuringly on Keith’s shoulder. Keith had to take a couple deep breaths, feeling rather indignant at Pidge’s remark. He was literally just coming to tell them, but the thought of Lance’s probing questions about the nature of the dreams had him rooted to the spot. They were too personal, and it wasn’t theirs to know about. How could he put someone else’s pain into words anyway?

 

“I didn’t know Lance was bi…” Shiro word vomited, his cheeks heating up.

 

Keith practically flinched at the words. “Yeah, me either…”

 

“Huh…”

 

“Yeah, huh…” Keith could feel his palms sweating under his gloves.

 

Shiro was honestly a little relieved that they hadn’t gotten a chance to tell everyone about the dream. He could tell Keith had been a little embarrassed and definitely freaked out by it. Dreams were hard enough to explain when they weren’t shared between two people’s brains. He could still feel the weight of the entire lake on him as he sank. He shuddered before shaking himself out of the memories. He made his way over to the kitchen area, coaxing Keith along with him before he made them both bowls of goo.

 

“I’m sorry I kind of snapped earlier… nightmares are…” Shiro shrugged.

 

“I get it,” Keith said softly before pressing a soft kiss to Shiro’s head as he took a seat next to him. “I’m sorry too.”

 

Shiro smiled sweetly, taking Keith’s hand in his own for a moment before Coran walked in and they jumped apart, both red in the face.

 

. . .

 

“Princess, can I speak with you,” Shiro asked, approaching her command center.

 

“Of course, Shiro.” She turned to give him her full attention. Sometimes her intense gaze still shook him like the first time they had met.

 

“I think we might be seeing into each other’s dreams… I overheard Pidge saying they had witnessed Hunk’s dream from the previous night…”

 

“Perhaps an isolated incident, however, we should monitor it.”

 

“Well… Keith and I may have shared a couple dreams as well…”

 

“I see.” Allura gave him a knowing look, smirking as she pulled up a screen of some sort of diagnostics. “Well, all of your scanners appear to be normal, and the Lions do not seem to be putting out any irregular transmissions. I don’t believe it’s cause for alarm, but I will speak to Coran about it.

 

“Thank you, Allura.”

 

She smiled and waved him off.

 

The rest of the day passed in relative normalcy. Shiro only had to keep Lance and Keith from laying hands on each other once. Pidge hadn’t caught anything on fire, at least not that he was aware of, and Hunk and Coran only moderately bickered about what constituted a balanced meal. By the time Shiro laid down in his bed, dreams were the last thing on his mind.

 

Actually, the only thing on his mind was where exactly Keith was. He considered crawling right back out of bed to go look for his grumpy other half, but he knew Keith would only come to bed when he was good and ready, and Shiro didn’t have the energy to stay up and spar with him. Just as he was feeling sleep come to claim him, Keith opened the door shuffling in already half undressed.

 

“Hey,” Shiro croaked, lifting his head. “Are you coming to bed or what?”

 

“Sorry,” Keith said sheepishly. “I was afraid to wake you up in a panic again… I thought maybe the dreams were a proximity thing, but then I realized that was stupid because it’s not like Pidge and Hunk share a bed… I guess if we’re both going to have nightmares, might as well be there to comfort each other after.”

 

God, he was cute. Shiro lifted up the blankets and scooted over for Keith to snuggle in close. They breathed each other in, wrapped in each other’s arms as if they were armor for the nightmares. For once, Shiro fell asleep pretty quickly.

 

. . .

 

_The fog was thick, far thicker than before, and almost impossible to see through. The edge of the lake was barely visible, but there was a feeling of watching eyes following his every move. The music that had echoed inside his mind had changed. This was darker… as if something was hunting deep in the fog. Coupled with the soft sobs that were just barely audible, it was chilling. Unlike before, the water didn’t ripple as he moved into it, but stayed completely still, like a mirror. A creak echoed, like that of an old gate, silencing the sobs abruptly, and causing him to shiver as the feeling of being watched intensified._

 

_He took another step and finally the mud seemed to catch hold of his leg, feeling almost like a claw dragging up his leg. The heavy rhythmic beat of the music began to grow, sounded faster, and slightly louder as if whatever was stalking him was getting that much closer. He almost welcomed the mud’s embrace this time. A bell, old and heavy, rang in the distance, causing his eyes to dart up from the glassy surface. Eyes, started to flash from deep in the fog, one here, another there, some red, some yellow. The bell chimed again, from behind, and he spun, almost losing his balance as the mud stubbornly kept its hold on his leg._

 

_The hair on the back of his neck raised, as goosebumps covered his skin. The bell rang again, this time seeming to echo. The music grew again, the bell chiming, one after another, as the beat instantly followed. The eyes continued to flicker in and out of view. Then as the mud creeped around his waist, the music and bells instantly ended, and every watching eye vanished. Everything was completely silent. It was a heavy silence, and despite knowing that he was completely alone, and that no one would ever come for him, he also knew that there was something in the fog. He could feel it, cold and wet, brushing the skin of his arm, could smell it’s putrid breath as it blew across his face, hear a rasping hiss close to his ear. Every nerve was screaming to run, to get away. Something tickled the back of his mind, small at first but growing with each circle of the creature, getting stronger with every inch the mud covered. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, couldn’t move. Five sharp points settled around his throat and began to squeeze, and then he heard it. That same hoarse whisper from before. “Make it stop.. please?”_

 

Shiro cursed as Keith’s fist connected with his jaw. Keith, for his part really did land on the floor this time. Shiro’s legs were tangled in the blanket, causing him to nearly join Keith on the floor as he tried to check on him.

 

“Are you ok?” He finally managed to get to Keith, pulling him back onto the bed. Keith looked like an alley cat, spitting and ready for a fight, his eyes wild and his clenched fists shaking, ready to take another swing.

 

“Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry,” Keith whispered into Shiro’s chest. He was struggling to breath, he felt like every nerve ending was firing at once. He so rarely dreamt, let alone had nightmares, he wasn’t used to this. He felt like an asshole. How often did Shiro have bad dreams, and he had never once accidentally punched Keith in the face.

 

“It’s ok, Keith, shhh.” He ran his hand through Keith’s hair, slow and steady, until Keith calmed down. Neither one made a move to leave the bed just yet.

 

. . .

 

Hunk froze at the door, watching Lance who was sitting at his usual place, a mug on the table before him. Lance was oddly still, staring at the slightly blue liquid like it held every answer in the universe.

 

“Lance?”

 

Almost instantly, Lance was smiling up at him. “Hunk! Morning buddy!”

 

“Yeah, morning..” Hunk moved into the room, heading to the goo machine for breakfast. “Are you feeling okay? This is like.. The fifth morning you’ve beaten me here.”

 

“Dude, I got tired of Allura yelling at me every morning, so I decided I would make sure I’d be here first for a while.” Lance sipped from his mug, eyes darting to the door as Pidge entered. “Hey, Pidgey.”

 

Pidge muttered something impossible to understand and made a grabbing motion at Lance’s mug. Lance slid it over, but it wasn’t until the cup was empty that Pidge finally spoke.

 

“Ugh.. Stop being so happy in the morning.”

 

Lance grinned, moving to get another mug. “Love you too, Pidgey.”

 

“I have got to figure out how to turn off Hunk’s brain.”

 

“Again??” Hunk looked horrified, settling into his seat, with a large plate of goo. “No dancing this time…” He glanced between Pidge and Lance before devoting his attention to the space food.

Lance leaned against the counter, mug raised to hide the smile.

 

“No, that’s true, there was no dancing, but seriously, your food cravings are weird. Chocolate ice cream and pineapple?? Curry with cherry honey sauce?? Ugh.” Pidge dropped their head down hard on the table.

 

Lance swiped Pidge’s stolen mug and filled it before dropping back into his seat. “Figure out yet why this is happening to you?”

 

“Yeah, it’s because we are all bonded really well.” Hunk mumbled around a mouthful of goo. “Apparently, it will happen for a while until we learn to block it out. Coran has some ideas.”

 

Pidge, raised their head, and immediately snatched the mug, gracing Lance with a thankful look. “It’s weird that it isn’t happening to you, Shiro and Keith though..”

 

“Yeah well… It probably is.” Lance shrugged, eyes darting to the wall. He was quiet for a long minute before he tossed out a joke. “They’re probably dreaming together, you know… because...”

 

“No, no way. It is too early and I am not awake enough for _feelings_.”

 

“Fine, fine.. You have to admit though, it’s funny how they think we haven’t noticed them coming in late and together every morning.”

 

Hunk chuckled, but patted Pidge’s head, earning a soft growl. “They’ll tell us eventually. For now, eat, both of you. No skipping today.”

 

Lance shared a glance with Pidge before they both chorused in unison. “Yes, mom.”

 

. . .

 

They were gathered in the Common Room, the group sprawled on the sunken couches as Shiro paced. The younger paladins seemed to shift anxiously, this was usually when they would be called to the Training Room, but Shiro’s exhausted frame couldn’t think about anything other than melting into the couch himself, much less training. Even Coran and Allura had joined them since this seemed to be a group problem.

“Alright, so there seems to be a side effect of the team bonding that was previously unforeseen,” Shiro said, standing in front of the group. Keith snorted hearing his _serious_ voice. “According to Coran, during sleep, our walls are down and we seem to be slipping into each other’s subconsciousness.”

“Wait, I thought it was just Pidge and Hunk,” Lance squeaked from where he sat. As soon as Shiro made eye contact with him, he shrunk a little and his eyes slid over to the far corner of the floor.

Shiro shared a look with Keith. Keith shrugged but nodded.

“Actually, Lance, Keith and I have been sharing dreams as well.”

Pidge adjusted their glasses. “Honestly, I’m not surprised. Hunk and I had been trying to guess who it might be that would also share dreams. He was sure it would be Keith and Lance, but I was betting on you and Keith. So thanks guys, I won three new parts and some heavy lifting in that bet.”

 

Lance bit his lip, but smiled when Pidge grinned at him. Keith watched the exchange, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, but then Shiro was talking again.

 

“Guys,” Shiro warned, eyeing Pidge and Hunk with what they lovingly referred to as his Dad Look. “This is serious, so let’s focus. From what I understand, we can build up defenses?”

 

“Actually, Hunk and I are onto something with that,” Pidge said.

 

“Yeah, I think we pretty much figured it out.”

 

“Ok, well, show me what you have so far and then we’ll get to work on making it stop.”

 

“For the love of god, please,” Pidge huffed.

 

“Listen, my dreams are not that bad.”

 

“Yeah, sure, Hunk.”

 

Shiro followed the bickering duo out of the room, Coran hot on their heels. Allura walked out after them, and suddenly it was just Lance and Keith left standing in the middle of the room.

 

“So-”

 

“I guess-”

 

Lance chuckled awkwardly. Outside of missions, it was always so difficult to be alone with Keith. His face would heat up and his fingers tingled with the need to touch. Keith made him a mess, always tripping over words or shouting out some half hearted insult to distract from the desire he was barely able to conceal. It almost as bad with Shiro.

 

“You first,” Lance offered.

 

“Uhhh…” Honestly Keith had no idea what he was going to say. Lance made him say all the wrong things. Everything always came out sounding like fighting words, and that was the last thing Keith wanted. Lance just managed to push all of his buttons. “So… no weird dreams?...”

 

“Not any weirder than usual.” Lance didn’t quite meet his eyes, and the small glimmer of hope that had sparked in his eyes was instantly gone. Keith wanted to put it back. Why was he so bad at this?

 

“Oh…” Come on Keith, say something, anything. “Dreams about guys and girls, right?” Oh god, anything but that.

 

Lance blushed furiously, and Keith wasn’t sure if he felt like puking or smiling. Shiro would have done a much better job of this.

 

“Ha, uh, yeah, something like that… honestly, I’m kinda glad no one’s sharing my dreams, wouldn’t want to blow your mullet off with how steamy they are.” He winked, knowing it was a bold faced lie. Well, the second part anyway, but now it was Keith’s turn to blush and Lance couldn’t help the electric shocks coursing through his body.

 

“Gross,” Keith laughed as he playfully pushed Lance as they headed for the door. “I’m headed for the training deck or something, you, uh, want to join?”

 

Just thinking about being alone with a sweaty, overexerted Keith was enough to make it a little hard to breathe.

 

“Uh, maybe next time? I gotta go... check on something.”

 

Keith nodded, it was probably for the best anyway, they’d probably end up at each other’s throats by the end of it. Lance headed in the direction of the bunks, and Keith went to start up the simulator. 

. . .

 

Honestly, a large portion of Pidge’s rambling explanation went right over Shiro’s head. The lack of sleep and that nightmare from the previous night was not helping him concentrate. Luckily, Hunk was there to translate.

 

“Basically, we’re all a lot closer than we were when we first started training. We’ve been through a lot and our bonds are really strong. Coran says that is why we work so well when we form Voltron.” He glanced at the adviser, who nodded. “So, when we sleep our defenses are down, while our bodies recover. So the dreams and thoughts of our teammates filter through. Pidge and I are sharing dreams because we’ve grown really close. It could have easily been me and Lance too.”

 

Okay, Shiro gets that. It’s logical, makes sense but, it doesn’t explain the dreams he and Keith are having. Are they his.. or are they Keiths? He nods and Hunk continues.

 

“You and Keith have known each other longer than you’ve known the rest of us. That’s why you two are sharing dreams.” Hunk stared at Pidge for a minute. “What we can’t figure out, is why it isn’t affecting all five of us. Lance should be sharing dreams with someone too.”

 

“Are you seeing Pidge’s dreams?” All Shiro knew was that Pidge had seen Hunk’s.

 

Pidge patted Hunk’s arm. “He was actually the one that mentioned it first. He found me really early a few cycles ago, and told me he had the weirdest dream about Matt. While he was telling me about it, I realized that it was one that I have often enough to actually remember it.”

 

“That’s the other strange thing about this. Usually when people dream the odds of those dreams being clearly remembered the next morning are slim. A person might remember bits and pieces, but not the whole thing and not clearly. When a dream is shared, the person dreaming and the one that shares it, can recall every detail perfectly.” Hunk shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Just based on Pidge and I… it seems whoever’s dream is strongest, is the one that is shared.”

 

It was a lot to take in, but it did make sense. When he dreamed of the arena, he generally only woke up with a feeling of terror and a hazy recollection. The dreams about the lake.. Those were vivid, and it took a long time to get them out of his mind.

 

“Okay then, first things first, we know what is causing it, so we will limit our training together for a while, at least until Coran here, can work out a way to keep our defenses up while we sleep. No sense in making this worse. But, we need to figure out why Lance isn’t affected by this.”

 

Hunk shared a look with Pidge, the two practically having an entire conversation with just their eyes. Shiro could see now why the two were sharing dreams. Their bond had really grown. Then the two turned away, Pidge back to Shiro and Hunk to frown at the far wall.

 

Pidge was the one that ended up speaking. “The only reason we can think of why Lance isn’t affected, is that maybe he isn’t as bonded to us as we are to each other. If his bonds are weak then he wouldn’t be seeing any dreams.”

 

A noise in the hall drew Shiro’s attention for a moment, before he dismissed it as the mice and turned back to Pidge. “Well, then that will be something we have to address after we figure out how to keep our dreams to ourselves.”

 

Lance pressed tightly to the wall, hand clamped over his own mouth, as he glared at the tool the mice were dragging to Allura. He loved them, they were adorable but they had almost gotten him caught. So, his bonds were weak and that was why he wasn’t having any dreams but his own. It figured, he couldn’t even manage to be friends with people properly.

 

. . .

 

_The mud pressed in from every side, he was pretty sure it was replacing the air in his lungs. He could feel himself trying desperately to breathe to no avail. The mud pulled him down, down, sliding past him as he went. Mud gave way to hard rock, and he could feel it scraping up his back and legs as he careened down the sharp slope, water splashing at his sides._

 

_He hit rock bottom quite literally, small nicks across exposed skin as he came to a stop._

 

_He recognized this place. The stone walls rose up all around him. His steps echoed all around him, mingling with the soft sniffles he knew were coming from him. Even without the soft pale light, he knew where to go. He almost felt a sense of hope, nostalgia, he was meant to be here, right?_

 

_The bright particle barrier of the Blue Lion came into view, her powerful form looming behind it, her presence so much like home for such an extraterrestrial being. She emanated welcoming waves of comfort. He approached the barrier of light, and raised his palm to touch it._

 

_The barrier held._

 

_He knocked on it, he called to her, yet nothing. He banged and kicked and screamed and still she did not move. Her once welcoming waves beckoning to him were gone. Her essence vibrated through him. She did not want him. He was not good enough for her. She deserved the best pilot and he could never be that. He was worthless and pathetic and had no right to be a Paladin of Voltron. The sobs were tenfold, they broke from his body like shrapnel from a bomb. His knees hit the stone floor as he called out to her, begging, please take him, he had a team he desperately wanted to protect._

 

_But, he realized, they were here. He could hear their voices, just barely audible above his own vicious sobbing. He lifted his eyes to see Hunk looking at him like he had only ever seen Hunk look at a piece of rotting food._

 

_“I can’t believe you thought we were friends. You’re nothing but a disgusting piece of trash.”_

 

_Suddenly, Pidge was stepping into his line of sight, pressing in from the side, a barely contained look of boredom on their face._

 

_“Terrible pilot, terrible teammate. I guess you’re just not that bonded to us, what are you but a seventh wheel?”_

 

_They waltzed away as if he wasn’t even worth the breath they had put into those words. In their place, he saw himself, there hand in hand with his boyfriend. He felt sick. They were wearing matching expressions of pity._

 

_“We could never want you as a lover, much less a teammate,” he heard his own cruel voice say._

 

_“I would never have even given you the time of day if we weren’t stuck in a spaceship together, you’re pathetic,” his other half added coldly._

 

_They turned towards each other and pressed in until they were passionately kissing. Shiro turned Keith’s head towards him on the ground, allowing him to nip at his exposed neck. “Can you imagine ever touching him?”_

 

_Keith’s nose wrinkled. “Gross.”_

 

_They began laughing, doubling over. He could hear Pidge and Hunk joining. Dozens more voices mingled in as he pressed his forehead to the hard ground. He could hear them all laughing and taunting, hatred spewing from their lips, and occasionally even worse, complete indifference. He was surrounded. He could hear a gruff male voice among the litany._

 

_“Well, let’s see if we can’t use this failure as a lesson for the rest of you students,” Iverson spit as he gestured down to him. “You were never good enough, you’ll never be good enough. You should have packed your bags and left a long time ago.”_

 

_He looked down at the wet cave floor, shoulders heaving with how hard he was crying, reflected there in the murky puddle was Lance’s tear stained face._

 

Keith bolted from the bed, barely making it to the bathroom before last night’s meal made a second appearance.

 

“Fuck!” He coughed and spit, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “I thought they were your dreams!”

 

“Christ, I- I thought they were yours, I-” Shiro was pacing madly, pulling at his hair. Keith could see the beginning stages of what he had come to recognize as one of Shiro’s panic attacks. He stood and tried to catch hold of his pacing boyfriend. His hand slipped on sweat soaked skin.

 

“Shiro… Shiro, take it easy… hey, Shiro… Takashi!” Keith finally managed to shock Shiro out of his meltdown, if only for a moment. “What. Do. We. Do?”

 

Shiro shook his head, eyes wide. He took several deep, shaky breaths. “We- we need to talk to Lance…”

 

“Ok, and say what?”

 

“I don’t know, ask if he’s ok?”

 

“He’s clearly not ok.”

 

“I don’t know, Keith, it’s not like they handed out a pamphlet on how best to handle something like this.” They were a mess. How anyone had ever thought that either one of them was cool, collected or had any fucking idea what they were doing was beyond him. “Ok… ok… we need to talk to Lance and we need to delicately let him know that we may be sharing dreams… and more importantly, we need to make sure he understands that not a goddamn bit of that bullshit was true… and I repeat, delicately.”

 

“Yes, I get it, I’ll let you do the talking… do you- do you really think that’s what he thinks we feel?”

 

“Obviously it is,” Shiro said sadly.

 

“How can he not see?! I mean- We’re constantly- I asked him to spar yesterday!”

 

“Keith, I don’t think it’s that simple…” Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith. “We both know we don’t feel that way, we’re just going to have to be a lot more upfront about how we feel. Try and get him to understand how much we care… but, I think it’s a lot more than that.”

 

“So… we talk to him now? I want to talk to him now.”

 

Shiro breathed in a broken laugh. “Yeah, let’s let him wake up a bit first, if those dreams have been hard on us, I can only imagine-”

 

“Oh my god, I’m- I’m gonna hug him.” Shiro laughed for real at his other half’s statement. Keith looked more like he was preparing for a mission than to speak to Lance.

 

“We’ll go talk to him in a few before anyone expects us for breakfast.”

 

“Yeah, alright.”

 

The booming voice of Allura came over the loudspeakers, abruptly ending their conversation.

 

“Paladins, we have an incoming communication.” Allura paused. “It is from a Galra ship.” Shit. Lance would have to wait. They scrambled to don their armor and sprinted to the command deck.

 

. . .

 

“I believe it would be best if you five stood out of range of the screen, at least until we know if it is an ally or an enemy.” She offered softly. “Coran will stand with me.”

 

Coran stood straight, right at Allura’s right hand, and only waited until everyone was in place before he answered the transmission. Almost immediately, Allura frowned. Her back straightened, and she tucked her hands behind her to rest against the small of her back.

 

“Prince Lotor…” Her tone was cold.

 

“Ah, Princess Allura. You are looking as lovely as always.” He was thin, with an angular jaw, and impeccably styled long white hair.

 

“Yes, well, I do wish I could say it was nice to speak with you, but..”

 

“Ah, your only flaw, dear Allura, is your sharp tongue.” He leaned back slightly, then folded his hands together, tapping his two pointer fingers against his mouth.

 

“It has come to my attention, dear Allura, that you are in possession of something incredibly beautiful.” Lotor practically purred from the screen. “Now, as you know, I am a.. how do you say, connoisseur of pretty things. So, I have graciously decided to make you a deal. One time offer, you understand. Now, on my end, I will withdraw all of my troops from this region of space. I will even include a promise not to return to this area. All you need to do in return is give to me, your Blue Paladin. Quite a good deal for you, yes? You… liberate an entire sector and you finally lose a …meaningless member of your little team. I, on the other hand, add to my collection.” He kept his placid smile. “Now, you shouldn’t frown so, it will mar your face. Do think about it, won’t you dear Allura? You have a quintant.”

 

The screen then went black.

 

Allura’s hands curled into fists, and she turned to face her team. Hunk looked appalled, while Pidge appeared quietly furious. Shiro was barely keeping Keith from flying into a rage, his own need to punch something bubbling just under the surface. Lance though, had no expression at all, he just nodded at Allura and quietly left the room, ignoring all protests.

 

“Princess..” Coran was frowning and he took a step forward, hand raised to place on her shoulder, but Pidge cut him off.

  
“Who the hell is Lotor??” They were scowling, fists clenched tightly.

 

Hunk looked torn, like he wanted to go after Lance but wanted to stay at the same time. Ultimately, Lance trumped his curiosity, and he chased after his friend.

 

Allura scowled, and kept her head slightly down as the mice ran up her shoulders, doing their best to comfort her.

 

“Lotor, is the son of Zarkon, his only child according to our records. He has always presented a charming front, smiles, soft voice, even a polite veneer.” Coran explained, looking uncomfortable. “Like Zarkon, we did not expect him to still be alive, and we had nothing to indicate that he was…” He took a step back, folded his hands behind his back and raised his chin. “Until the first message.”

 

Even Allura raised her head at the last part. “First message, Coran?”

 

Coran took a deep breath. “Lance has apparently been receiving messages on his communicator. He told me about them after the second, because he had originally believed the previous one to be some kind of… what was the word he used… a prank, yes. After the second, he came to me. We have been attempting to track them, figure out how they were getting past our security and onto Lance’s specific wavelength. He informs me after each message, and I work on blocking the messages. It was my decision not to inform you all, as I was certain that it was a matter I could handle.” He stood a bit straighter, chin held straight and stance firm. At the time, he had honestly believed it was the best choice, he would accept the consequences.

 

“We fucking storm the place, and I’m going to kill him,” Keith snarled.

 

“Keith.” Shiro didn’t actually disagree with him, but if he let him go unchecked, Keith would snap. “Coran, have you found where the messages are coming from?”

 

“Lotor has sent the coordinates for delivery,” Allura bit out.

 

“So, he actually expects us to just take Lance to him?!” Keith’s face matched his armor. “He doesn’t think we wouldn’t fight to our last breath for him?! That we wouldn’t-”

 

Keith let out more of a growl than any actual words as he stomped closer to Shiro, his eyes pleading.

 

“We need to deal with this immediately, not only because clearly this guy has access to our communications, but anyone threatens one of my own, and it _will_ be dealt with. Coran, what were you able to to find out from the messages?”

 

“Unfortunately, all Lance has told me, is when the messages arrive, not what they say.” Coran offered stiffly. “I was able to locate how the messages are getting in, but I have not been able to stop them without cutting off Lance’s communicator completely.”

 

“Then fucking shut it off,” Keith fumed.

 

“For safety and team communications, that would be a detrimental idea,” Allura said. She still stared at the black screen in front of her. She was the embodiment of loathing, her skin pricked with venomous hatred.

 

“Well, we can’t just do nothing!” Keith was breaking apart here. He blinked and found his fist crunched into his own control stand.

 

“Stop it.” Pidge’s voice was soft, controlled. “Coran, Hunk and I will work on the communications. You two.” They pointed. “Go find out from Lance exactly what the messages said.”

 

Allura nodded. “Yes. Make sure everyone is back here before the deadline. I want a united front if he contacts us again.”

 

. . .

 

“I don’t fucking like this.”

 

“No one likes this, Keith…. Let’s just check on Lance.”

 

They rounded the corner to see Hunk with his forehead leaned against Lance’s door.

 

“Hunk, how’s he doing,” Shiro asked. Hunk jumped back from the door.

 

“He won’t let me in.”

 

Keith walked up to the door and banged on it several times. “Lance!”

 

Shiro sighed heavily, pulling Keith back from the door. “Pidge could probably use your help with the comms, we’ll give it a try.”

 

Hunk nodded, looking nervously at the locked door. He turned and headed to meet up with Pidge. Shiro turned toward the door, giving Keith a look that said to behave.

 

“Lance,” Shiro called gently, just loud enough to ensure he could be heard on the other side. “Can we come in?”

 

Silence.

 

“Shiro…” Keith was grinding his teeth, vibrating beside him.

 

“Lance, we just want to talk… we just-”

 

“Lance! Come on, you’re not going to listen to that asshole, right?!”

 

“Keith, I really don’t think-”

 

Lance’s door slid open. He avoided eye contact, his voice just above a whisper.

 

“I don’t really feel like talking, so I appreciate the gesture and all, but-”

 

Keith pushed into the room, Lance finally meeting their eyes with a shocked expression. Shiro followed after, he didn’t really condone Keith’s methods, but they were where he wanted to be, so he wasn’t going to argue.

 

“Or, you could just come in… Whatever.” His voice was still low, and he dropped into the lone chair that the room had.

 

“Lance.” Shiro’s tone was even, commanding in the gentlest of ways. “All that stuff that this Lotor said back there wasn’t true. You’re absolutely not meaningless.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Lance nodded.

 

“You are a needed member of this team, irreplaceable, and we would never hand you over to anyone, you know that right?”

 

“Of course…” He nodded again, eyes fixed on the space between Shiro and Keith.

 

“We need you here, with us. Do you even know how much you’re needed? How damn important you are?”

 

Lance shrugged, eyes anywhere but on Shiro.

 

“Lance-”

 

“No, fuck this!” Keith stepped right up into Lance’s space forcing Lance to look up at him.

 

“What- what the hell, Keith?!”

 

“How can you be so stupid?!”

 

“Don’t yell at me in my own room, you jerk!” Shiro started to step in, this was getting out of hand.

 

“You are the best damn shot I’ve ever seen,” Keith shouted. Lance’s mouth snapped shut, looking more than confused. “You’re selfless and smart and just a fucking good person! You make everyone laugh, you bring us together, you don’t make us feel so alone! You make me want to try harder, be better! Everything you do is for us and we would be so fucked without you.”

 

Keith took a deep breath. Lance was like a deer in headlights. Keith’s fight melted out of him.

 

“You’re- you’re not meaningless.” Keith watched as Lance froze. “You mean so much to us. To Shiro… To me.”

 

Lance could barely hear Keith over the rushing in his ears and the smooth voice spilling disparaging words. He had never gotten a message when he was with any of the others, and he honestly couldn’t focus on anything but that.

 

Shiro watched carefully for some kind of reaction. Anything, but there was nothing. “Lance?” Still nothing, and he shared a worried look with Keith. “Lance, are you alright?”

 

A tick, then another, a good ten more passed before Keith snapped out a more forceful. “Lance!”

 

He blinked. “What?” He had a feeling he was missing something, but he couldn't really focus right now.

 

Keith frowned. “Did you hear me?”

 

“Paladins! Please return to the control room. Our quintant is nearly over.” Allura’s was steady, despite the slight distortion of the castle’s system.

 

Lance slowly got out of the chair. “Guess we should get back…”

 

The exchange left him rattled. This whole thing was so fucked up. Shiro pulled him to follow Lance down the hall. He was talked out, Lance was clearly in another world and Shiro looked like he was trying to think his way out of a box, so they walked in complete silence.

 

. . .

 

“What is your decision, dear Allura?” Lotor smiled, seeing the others standing behind her. “I trust you have made the right choice and chosen to accept my offer?”

 

Allura raised her chin. “We decline. I will not simply hand over one of my paladins.”

 

Lotor laughed, eyes crinkling. “My, this is a surprise. I was certain that you would jump at the opportunity to rid yourself of such useless dead weight. It’s not as if there would be no one to replace him on your little team. My father told me that the royal family can fly any of the Lions.” His eyes narrowed suddenly, fixed on Lance, before they scanned the small group, noting how Keith and Shiro bracketed him and Hunk had his hands on Lance’s shoulders. “Ah, well that does make sense.”

 

Coran tensed. “Prince Lotor…”

 

“I am not speaking to you.” Lotor snapped, a dark glint in his eyes, before he smoothed his expression and returned to watching Allura. “I had wondered why you kept someone on your team that really had no skills to offer, but I believe I understand. You do not wish to lose your stress relief. Oh, I’m sure you have other words for it, but let us be frank. You wish to keep him for the same reason I want him.” His eyes flicked to Lance again, and obviously trailed over his features, causing Keith to shift closer. “I suppose I can accept that, for now at least. But know this. I will have him. I will take him from you, break him and rebuild him as mine.” A satisfied smile grew on his face. “None of you, not even the Champion, will be able to stop me.” The screen went black.

 

Hunk’s hands tightened on Lance’s shoulders, but Lance turned offering a small smile. “It’s over Hunk. Completely done with it.” He patted the hands resting on his shoulders.

 

Allura frowned. “Not exactly. We still need to figure out how to stop any more messages from getting through our defenses. Also, I will be spending some time figuring out how Lotor managed to locate you, Lance.” She paused at the smile he was directing her way.

 

“I appreciate that, honestly. but what I want more than anything is some food, some time alone with my favorite girl, and my bed. Preferably in that order. So, buddy, pal, bro of mine? Feed me?” He simpered at Hunk which made his friend laugh. Then he slung his arm around Pidge purposefully mussing their hair. “You too, Pidgey, lets go so Mama Hunk can make us eat.” He then teased both of them out of the room.

 

The room was quiet for a moment before Coran spoke up. “I am aware that this is largely my fault.. but I would like to state that I do not like it when he does that.” He then turned back to his panel.

 

Shiro knew a thing or two about dissociating and repressing. It was hypocritical, but he hated seeing the bright and bubbly Lance so hollow behind the eyes while his mask faked a smile. Keith thrummed with restless energy. He couldn’t fix Lance any more than he could fix Shiro, but god did he want to try. Coran’s words reverberated in him and he was terrified. This dickbag, Lotor whoever-the-fuck, better pray he not meet Keith on the battlefield.

 

“I don’t like it either,” Shiro breathed.

 

“What’s our next move,” Keith asked.

 

Allura frowned. “Get some rest. There isn’t much else we can do.”

 

. . .

 

 

_“Such a pretty thing,” the voice surrounded him like velvet. He felt too warm, sweat drenching his body. “Too bad they keep you here, collecting dust.”_

 

_The cave was dark, too dark to see, but he could feel the eyes on him. His shoes scuffed against the rough stone floor. How was it that he still felt like he was drowning? With every step, he felt crushing weight press further down on him. His outstretched hands bumped into hard walls. Bright, sickening purple glowed, etched into the rock surface._

 

_“You should be displayed, like the fine jewel that you are,” the snakeoil voice crooned in his ear, he could feel the warm, wet breaths. Strong fingers twined in his hair, gripping it tight. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes. “Don’t you want to be admired? I can give you that.”_

 

_“But my team-”_

 

_“You would rather stay with them, no more than a way to pass time at best and an afterthought at worst,” he hissed. “They will leave you fucked out and more alone than you were before, you think they care for you? You think they want to see you happy?”_

 

_He tried to pull free, the sharp sobs punching from his gut. The hands in his hair shoved him to the floor. Lotor towered over him, larger than life. He wished for drowning. He prayed for the earth to pull him down into the depths._

 

_“I can make your dreams come true, pet. You’ll be kept good and pretty, draped in finery. You will know pleasures like you’ve only dreamed of.” He could feel himself being caged in by strong limbs as Lotor lowered himself. “They will make you their rag. You mean nothing to them, they do not care for your feelings or well being. Did they even notice you were suffering? How many nights have you cried yourself to sleep just hoping they’d see you as more?”_

 

_Lotor dragged his wet tongue up the side of his face. Sharp nails bit into the flesh of his neck. The smirk on Lotor’s face caused bile to rise in his throat. He cowered as much as possible as he bared sharp teeth, grazing them over his soft cheek. He cried out a strangled noise as fangs sunk into flesh. The wet heat on his cheek was now just as much blood as it was tears. Lotor released his biting hold, licking up his face one more time, eyes sparkling when he met his gaze._

 

_“You’re filthy and disgusting and they will never treat you as more than the easy fuck to ease their nerves. You think they will love you, your Champion, the hybrid? Why would they love a whore? But I see how beautiful you are, and oh how good I will treat you, my sweet. Wouldn’t you like that?”_

 

_He tried to shake his head despite the tight grip on his throat. The pressure doubled. Dark shapes phased in and out of his vision._

 

_“Oh, but you will.”_

 

_Lotor closed his mouth over Lance’s, claiming, biting, stealing the last of his breath._

 

Shiro tore from the sheets. He couldn’t breathe. He was already down the hall, Keith hot on his heels. He could hear him crying behind him. He didn’t even stop at the door, using the override to bust into Lance’s room, but it was empty. He must have slept in Blue. Keith was still crying behind him, soft hiccups filling the small room. Shiro pulled him into a hug and held him until the sniffles stopped.

 

“This time we really have to talk to him.”

 

. . .

 

Lance sat at the communal table, mug curled in one hand and his head resting on the table. Honestly, he had never in his life been so happy to be alone. Lance thrived on noise, friendly voices, laughter, music. Anything to keep his thoughts at bay, but here in the silent room, he relished it. No taunts, no jokes, just blissful silence. He wouldn’t get too many of these moments anymore. Eventually, Pidge or Coran would demand to know what the messages said. Lance wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to tell them. They would either be furious, and treat him like glass… or they would agree and honestly he wasn’t certain which one was worse.

 

“Lance?”

 

Lance’s head snapped up. There was Coran, looking as impeccable as always, a frown on his face. “Oh, morning.”

 

“A very early one…” Coran replied softly, crossing the room and sitting across from Lance. It was only because he was looking for it that he noticed the slight droop to Lance’s mouth, and the faintest hint of dark circles under his eyes.

 

Lance shrugged, sipping at his drink. He had never really enjoyed coffee, and honestly, space coffee was even worse, but he had to admit it helped keep him awake. “I don’t usually see you here.”

 

“Yes, well, that is simply because none of you can appreciate a refined palate.” He sniffed, and it was something so normal, that Lance smiled genuinely.

 

“Yeah, we’re a bunch of heathens.”

 

Silence settled over the two for a moment, but it was broken when Coran cleared his throat.

 

“Lance, I just wanted to check on you, to insure that you were appropriately dismissive of Lotor’s... crude insinuations.” He leaned forward slightly, elbows resting on the table.

 

“Of course.” Lance raised his head, flashing Coran a wide smile. “There is no way that you guys keep me around for that.” The words fell a little flat, and Lance quietly chastised himself.

 

“Absolutely not.” Coran was back to sounding appalled like he did when anyone insulted his meals. “No offense to you lad, but I see you more as a wayward son than any kind of romantic interest.”

Lance started laughing, it was a bit higher than normal, tinged with slight panic, but it was real. “I’ve heard way worse things so I’ll take it.”

 

Coran smiled at the laughter, pleased to have drawn the boy he looked at like a son into a better mood. He hated to ruin it. “I confess, your teammates are rather displeased with me currently.”

 

Lance raised an eyebrow, and finished off his drink, almost immediately standing to refill it. He made a mental note to thank Hunk again for teaching him how to make it. “Oh, over the messages? Well, that’s kind of dumb in my opinion.” He moved back to his chair. “Really if they are going to be mad at anyone, it should be me. I’m the one that waited to tell you about it. Maybe if I had come to you right away, you could have stopped them by now.” He shrugged. “I’ll talk to them.”

 

Coran startled, a frown growing on his face. “Lance..”

 

Lance leaned back, pressing his back firmly to the chair. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about those.” One hand came up and started gesturing as he spoke. “Pidge mentioned something about turning off my communicator. They said it was a sure way of stopping them. So, why didn’t you do that before?”

 

“Lance, each paladin is set to a specific wavelength. If I turn if off, then we would have no way to speak to you in the event of a battle or a mission. Not even if you are in the Blue Lion. I would not endanger you in such a way.”

 

Lance played with the handle of his mug. “Oh.. I suppose that makes sense.” He finished his third, or was it fourth drink. “Well, I know it’s early, but I want to go get started on cleaning Blue. Since Shiro cancelled our team training, I need something to do with my time, and my lovely lady deserves the attention.” He slid out of his seat, shooting Coran a grin. “We good?”

 

Coran smiled thinly. “Of course, I will come down later to inspect you on your cleaning.” He kept his smile until Lance was gone, then sighed. He stood, and headed toward the paladin’s rooms. He should probably inform Shiro about this…

 

. . .

 

Humans were such creatures of habit.

 

It was never surprising to find Shiro in the presence of Keith, heads bent together, a shared moment over too quick. He found them near the observation deck, tension woven into their limbs, hushed voices and sharp gestures. He caught the whisper of _Lance_ leaving their mouths as he entered the room, clearing his throat. Shiro’s posture straightened, his brow knit and looking every bit the soldier he was. Keith stepped back, fire in his eyes and a fight in his bones, more present than ever before.

 

“Please, pardon my interruption.” Coran’s voice was soft. “I wished to speak with you, Shiro.. About Lance, if you can spare a few ticks?”

 

“What happened, is he ok,” Keith interjected as Shiro closed the gap to Coran.

 

“Of course, Coran,” Shiro answered, catching Keith’s eye with reprimanding look. Keith just glared back, pressing into Shiro’s side. He was not going to be left out of this if concerned Lance. “Keith….”

 

“I want to stay.”

 

Coran looked from one to the other, weighing if he should speak while Keith was there. While it was common knowledge that on the field Keith and Lance worked very well together, off it, however was another story, and Coran did not want to fuel the fires. But, his concern for Lance overrode it.

 

“I spoke with him just a few clicks ago, and, I am concerned.” He tucked one hand into his pocket, the other tugging on his moustache. “He appeared very tired, despite being the first to retire. He did not seem to be his usual chipper self.” Coran’s hand dropped. “I had mentioned to him that you lot were unhappy with me, which of course I completely understand, as I failed that boy, but he insisted that it was his fault. That he should have informed me immediately. I.. could be wrong, but I did not like the implications of that considering some of… Lotor’s words.”

 

“Coran… we’re not mad. I think we’re all a little at fault in this,” Shiro said, his chest tight. “Keith and I haven’t been as upfront as we could have been either, but I think we might know at least some of what kinds of things Lotor’s been torturing Lance with.”

 

“He deserves to die.” Keith believed it completely.

 

“While I am not the sort to wish such things, I quite agree. Perhaps I am overstepping, but I feel a kinship to Lance. I was concerned when he was overly quiet while we were cleaning, but he dismissed it as nothing important.” Coran’s shoulders dropped slightly. “I do not understand why you humans constantly state you want things you cannot have. If you cannot have it, why do you continue to want it?”

 

“I- uh- I don’t know, Coran.” Shiro looked to Keith. He was pretty sure they both knew that feeling intimately. After literally walking in Lance’s shoes via these damned dreams, he was starting to realize they were a party of three for dense.

 

“Yes, well, as Lance said, it likely does not matter. I was pleased though to note that he did not seem to take Lotor’s… vulgar insinuations to heart. He openly agreed with me when I explained that we do not see Lance in such a way.” Coran looked relieved. “Again, my apologies for taking up your time. I just wished you to be aware of what I knew. Good day, Paladins, and I will be checking on your lion cleaning efforts later.”  He smiled and continued toward the control room.

 

“Uh, right, yeah…” Shiro fumbled, but Keith just snorted.

 

“Yeah, definitely not, right, Shiro?”

 

“Shut up, let’s find Lance,” he chuckled, elbowing Keith as he went.

 

. . .

 

Lance ended up in his room and not in the hangar. He hadn’t lied to Coran, he fully intended on spending most of his day cleaning Blue, inside and out, but he also could not shake the idea that Pidge would eventually want to know what the messages said and go looking for them. Lance did not want them to hear. Pidge was too young, and didn’t need to be subjected to such… things.

He’d gotten better at working with the castles tech, never as good as Hunk or Pidge, but enough so that he could move the messages from their storage to one of the little orange data screens Pidge had given each of them. He had just finished shrugging into his jacket, cleaning in armor was uncomfortable, when his door opened to reveal Hunk.

 

“Hey buddy..” Was all he was able to get out before he was engulfed in one of Hunk’s crushing hugs. Hunk gave the best hugs. Sure, most people thought they were always too tight, or lasted too long, but Lance loved them. He always felt wanted when Hunk hugged him.

 

“I’m worried about you.” Hunk tightened his hold when Lance wiggled. “No, serious time.”

 

Lance immediately stilled. ‘Serious time’ was a thing of theirs from long ago. It was a complete honesty zone, Lance’s jokes and Hunk’s anxiety had no place here. They hadn’t needed a serious time since before the Garrison. He nodded against Hunks shoulder.

 

“I don’t like this Lotor guy. I don’t like what he said, and I really don’t like the way he looked at you. I know you don’t want to make me worry but… I already am.”

 

Lance wiggled, pulling himself up to settle his chin more comfortable on Hunk’s shoulder. “I know, but as long as I’m with you guys, he can’t get me. I won’t go on any solo missions, I promise.”

The grip loosened a bit as Hunk relaxed. “Okay… but I want to hear the messages.”

 

Now it was Lance that was tense. He didn’t want Hunk to listen to them anymore than he wanted Pidge to hear them. But, maybe just in case, it was a good idea for someone to hear them, and Hunk was the least judgmental. “I don’t really want you to.” He normally would have brushed it off, laughed, but this was serious time. “Okay, Hunk, but I have a condition. Pidge is not to hear them ever. You don’t even let them know you’ve heard them. Pidge does not hear these messages under _any circumstances_.”

 

To his credit, Hunk actually considered it. He knew he was bad at secrets, but this was obviously important to Lance. After a long minute he nodded. “Okay.”

 

Lance worked free, and pulled the data screen out of his jacket pocket. “Bring it back when you’re done.” He solemnly handed it to Hunk.  

 

Hunk took it with a grave expression. “I promise…”

 

...

 

This was starting to get ridiculous. He and Keith had covered the entire Castle in search of Lance, they had even split up a couple of times, and still to no avail. Shiro suspected he was avoiding them, and he knew with Lance’s proclivity for tactics, he wasn’t just going to fall into their laps. Though, that was appealing…

 

His heavy steps kept time with his heart. Maybe it was the added levels of distraction, but he felt himself getting hazy around the edges, a level of introspection he did not often allow himself. He and Keith had tiptoed around the whole Lance thing long before the dreams or Lotor. He had seen it in Keith’s eyes from the moment they had rescued him in the desert. Together. And, maybe it hadn’t been so quick for him, but he was more broken than most, and he hadn’t even allowed himself to resume his feelings for Keith from before his abduction. His brain was scrambled, but Lance was like a shimmering light through everything. He could see why Keith held a candle for him. But, true to Keith and Shiro fashion, neither one wanted to breach the subject first. In the end it had taken Lance back in the healing pod for the umpteenth time, and catching each other sneaking in late at night to look over him. They knew, they had admitted it in not so many words, but nothing more had come of it. Lance seemed too good, too sweet and kind for his bloodsoaked hands and Keith had barely allowed Shiro in after all these years. Shiro knew they had some work cut out for them, but he was pretty sure they knew what they wanted.

 

“Hey, any sign that way,” Keith asked as he rounded the corner.

 

“No, I was just about to go check the hangars again, join me?”

 

Keith nodded and they headed in the direction of Blue. Just as before, the large space was eerily quiet. Keith heaved an exasperated sigh as they turned to go before one of Blue’s doors popped open, Lance climbing out, a couple of rags in hand.

 

His hair was damp, and his jacket sleeves soaked despite being rolled up. There was a smudge of grease on his cheek, the same one that had been bitten in the dream, and more grease was smeared all over his pants. Despite that, he was chattering happily.

 

“I gotta say, you look great, beautiful! It took a while, and I’m hungry enough to eat the goo without a complaint but it was worth it.” He took a step back to examine her gleaming metal. “Coran is not going to find a flaw!”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Keith said just a little too loudly. Shiro wasn’t sure if it was because they’d looked there at least twice already, or if it had to do with just how good Lance looked like that, but his money was on the second one. He could feel the relief coming off him in waves.

 

“Lance, thank god, we’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Shiro’s long legs carried him swiftly across the room, but Keith beat him there.

 

“Huh? But, I thought everyone knew where I was, I mean I told Coran and Hunk earlier.” Lance took a step back at Keith’s rapid approach.

 

“Fuck it.” Keith wrapped his arms around Lance. Shiro was just as shocked as Lance if their synchronized gasps were anything to go by. Keith looked more relaxed than he had in days. He could smell wind and rain and metal and he could feel the soft strands of Lance’s hair where his face pressed close.

 

Lance stood there with his mouth slightly open, arms dangling uselessly at his sides. Keith was hugging him? Why? It didn’t matter that Lance really needed a hug and had wanted one from either of the two men standing with him… But, Keith didn’t hug, well there was that one with Shiro but that did not count, why was Keith hugging him. “Uh...Keith?” He blinked a couple of times. “Why are you hugging me?” He fixed his eyes on Shiro. “Shiro?”

 

Shiro’s wide eyes shifted from Keith to Lance. Ok, so he wasn’t going to be any help. Keith clung tighter if that was at all possible. He was shaking.

 

“I just- I want-” Keith started and stopped. “Lance… I can’t stand this… watching you suffer. I just want you to be alright.”

 

“I..” Lance swallowed, and one hand raised to curl around Keith’s shoulder, but it paused, and hovered there awkwardly. His palm was filthy, covered in grease and dust and Lance’s own sins, it wasn’t worthy enough to touch Keith. Lance let his hand fall again. “I.. don’t understand.” He didn’t. He couldn’t wrap his mind around why Shiro was staring at him like Lance could vanish into thin air, or why Keith was literally shaking with how tight he was holding on. Shiro was obviously no help, but Keith was at least speaking. “Keith, buddy? Come on, calm down and explain this to me, okay?”

 

Keith pulled back reluctantly. He let his hands linger for just a moment more. He shook his head looking from Lance to Shiro and back.

 

“Lance, Keith and I have been having dreams-”

 

“Tch, yeah, Shiro, I know, I get it, I’m the only one not sharing dreams, I’m just not as bonded or whatever.” Under his breath he added, “Odd man out as usual.”

 

“Would you just fucking listen?!” Keith’s voice cracked on his outburst. “We’re having your dreams. Shiro and I have had a front row seat to your nightmares and I’ve never felt so much in my life. And, I just- none of that is true.”

 

“Keith’s right, Lance, the things in your dreams aren’t true, you are so important to us, to the whole team. We couldn’t do any of this without you, and not just because you pilot the Blue Lion, but because you’re you. I don’t think any of us would still be here if not for you.”

 

Lance shook his head but he had a small weak smile on his face. “You guys don’t have to do that, you know?” Part of him was grateful that they were willing to lie to him so that he felt better, but part of him really just wanted them to drop it. If they had really been sharing his dreams, then Keith would never have touched him. Hell, Lance had barely made it out of the hangar and into a bathroom after the last one he’d had. He had to scrub all his skin twice, just to feel remotely clean again. “Honestly, you guys would all still be here. I mean… I appreciate you saying this, I really do. But, it’s okay, I just have to work a little harder at...”

 

“No! You’re not listening!”

 

“Keith-”

 

“No, Shiro! Lance, god, just- I used to wake up most days and I’d see Shiro and just wish you were there… That I could see you waking up, ask how you slept… and now, I wake up breathless, crying, puking my guts out, but the worst part of it is that I don’t wonder how you slept… I just wonder how and why you put that fake smile on and tell everyone you’re ok.”

 

“I don’t… what…” Lance shook his head, a cross between confused and angry. “You don’t know anything about anything, Keith.”

 

“I know that you’re the funniest and kindest person I’ve ever met, and that’s counting, Shiro and Hunk. I know that you don’t actually know all the words to What’s New Pussycat, but you sing it anyway because for some weird reason it makes Pidge laugh, and that you chew on the inside of your cheeks when you’re stressed or focused. I know that that sick fuck deserves to die...I know that I really like you and I don’t know what to do about it or these dreams.”

 

“Stop!” Lance was covering his ears, knuckles white.

 

“Lance, I agree with Keith,” Shiro said quietly. “We would never lie to you, we just want you to be happy.”

 

This was not how this was supposed to, this was not how Keith wanted to do this. For god’s sake, he and Shiro hadn’t even really discussed what they wanted to do, but he couldn’t stand by and watch what was happening to Lance. He was fucking this up, he needed to get it back on track. He needed Lance to believe them, to know how they felt. He took the ratty bandana from his pocket and brought it up to wipe the grease from Lance’s cheek.

 

Lance shoved him hard.

 

“Don’t touch me!” Lance paled. “He was right…”

 

He reminded Keith of a wild animal being cornered. He turned tail and fled into Blue, Shiro tried to follow him, but Blue blocked him with her particle barrier before he could even take a step. Keith stood stunned and frozen in place, hand still held to the tender spot Lance had hit.

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Keith called out. “Just tell me what to do!”

 

He was met with silence.

 

“Come on, Keith, let’s- let’s just let him calm down. We can try again.”

 

Shiro had to practically drag Keith away, knowing he’d stay in there all night if he didn’t. He wanted Lance to understand how much he meant to them just as much as Keith, but he could see Lance wasn’t ready to listen, and it broke his heart.

 

. . .

 

“Hey! Shiro! Keith!” Hunk ran up to them, taking a moment to rest his hands on his knees, panting. “Geez, you two are fast. I need to talk to you. It’s important!”

 

Shiro suppressed a sigh, he really didn’t want to deal with any more problems right now, he hadn’t even solved the current one. “Yes, Hunk?”

 

He straightened, and then shoved an orange data screen into Keith’s hand. “These are Lotor’s messages to Lance.” Hunk didn’t even pause for a second, talking much faster than usual. “I got them from Lance. Listen, this Lotor guy is not going to just go away. These are… bad, okay? I don’t do this much, you guys know this, but just this once, I am going to say what I’m thinking and not care how mad Lance gets at me.” He took a quick breath and kept going. “So I am breaking a promise that I made to my best friend and I’m giving these to you. He told me to make sure I brought it right back to him, but you two need to hear these.”

 

“Hunk…”

 

“Just… listen to them okay? But, I am going to ask you one thing.” Hunk’s lower lip trembled a bit, and he looked almost sick. “Please, don’t let Pidge hear them. Lance made me swear that they would not know that I heard them, and after listening to only half of them, I can understand. So, please, keep this promise that I made, and don’t tell them?”

 

“Of course.” Shiro looked down at the data screen like it would bite him. He didn’t want Pidge knowing anymore than anyone else did. Hunk nodded once, firm, and went back the way he came.

 

Keith’s room was closest, so they found themselves locked in there, the data screen between them on the bed, neither moving to activate it. Keith hadn’t stopped looking like he was going to cry since the hangar. Shiro put his hand on his thigh and squeezed reassuringly. Keith laced their fingers together, and taking a deep breath, Shiro started the oldest message.

 

_‘You do know they are only using you, yes? It is not as if you are an important member of your little team…’_

 

Keith could feel Shiro’s grip tightening in his. It wasn’t surprising, they had heard this much before, but knowing Lance had been subjected to this. Alone. The muscles in his jaw clenched.

 

_‘I will keep you, blue paladin, for myself only. I will drape you with silks, and have you kneel at my feet. Attach a chain to your collar, blue because the color does suit you. I will allow others to look at you with envy as you pleasure me, but none may touch you, that is for me alone.’_

 

Shiro practically growled. Keith wasn’t sure when he’d let go of Shiro’s hand, but his fingers were pulling at his hair as he put his head between his knees. Shiro opened another one.

 

_‘Despite your lackluster skills, I am willing to spread you out beneath me for my pleasure. I will rake your skin with my claws, taste my bruises on your flesh, I will teach you to think of me, and only me, as your master.’_

 

“I’m gonna be sick.” Shiro could just barely hear Keith from where he was doubled over. Shiro’s legged bounced rapidly with energy he’d rather be focusing in his fists. He wanted to stop, but he had to know. When Shiro has a chance to bring him down, he wants to know every last bit of pain he’s caused Lance so he can return it tenfold.

 

_‘You know they do not care for you. How could they? You are weak, an embarrassment to your team, only I know your true value, your rightful place in life. On your knees…’_

 

The loud crash made Shiro jump. He had been pacing, but was shocked out of it by Keith breaking something on the ground. Shiro paused the message, taking care not to step on any broken pieces of whatever it was Keith had thrown.

 

“Keith, Baby?” Keith was standing, shaking, staring at the data screen like it should be the thing shattered on the ground. “Do you want to stop?”

 

Keith didn’t respond for moment. Shiro approached, hands raised until he could place them gently on Keith’s arms. When he finally made eye contact, he shook his head slightly as if even his body knew he didn’t want to continue. Shiro sat them back down and pressed start.

 

_‘You do realize that you cannot have them. Why would they want you? Who would truly choose a filthy whore like you when they can have each other?’_

 

Shiro thought of the last dream, his skin crawling. Keith clung to him. If only Lance believed what Keith had tried to tell him.

 

_‘You are not worthy of their touch, too dirty to touch them. They cannot love you, no one can.’_

 

The next message started. Something about this one was different. All of the other recordings were clear and pristine in quality, this one had some sort of background noise before Lotor’s voice even made an appearance. Like hearing someone talking in the background of a phone call. Realization hit Shiro at the same time that Keith bolted to the bathroom. He could hear Keith speaking in the background.

 

_‘I have decided how I shall have you first. Sadly, I must punish you for making me wait so long. I shall rake your back with my favorite whip, burn my crest into your flesh, I think your inner thighs will do nicely. Tighten your chains so you cannot move, bind your legs wide, so that I may look my fill. I will use your blood to soothe the way if I am feeling generous, but I will insure that it hurts my pet, how else will you remember who owns you?’_

 

Shiro’s grip cracked the screen. He looked from the spiderweb cracks to Keith curled in on himself sitting in the doorway. Shiro stood and joined his other half.

 

“He heard that- he heard that instead of-” Keith looked to him, tears staining his cheeks. Shiro pulled him into a hug. Keith had cried himself out and every joint in Shiro’s body ached by the time they pulled themselves off the floor.

 

. . .

 

Despite Shiro’s aches and the red still lingering near Keith’s eyes, they still agreed that they needed to talk to Lance again. Shiro couldn’t let Lance go any longer without telling him that those messages were nothing but lies. Lance belonged here, with them.. All of them as a paladin. He wasn’t something to be used, he was something precious.

 

Keith on the other hand, was torn. Part of him wanted to go to Lance, hold him close with Shiro on the other side, learn just how well they fit together, but the other part of him was furious. He was appalled at the filth on those messages, disgusted that anyone could even think that way about Lance, and yet, he was sad, so sad that earlier, Lance hadn’t even heard him. He wasn’t sad for him, but for Lance, because maybe, if that last message hadn’t come in right at that moment, maybe Lance would have believed him earlier.

 

The two headed straight for Blue’s hangar, since that was the last place Lance had been but when they were nearly there, something caught their attention.

 

“Would you just… Stand still Lance!” Pidge sounded frustrated, but if nothing else they knew where Lance was.

“Excuse you! I have sixteen different wires in my hands and I’m not too keen on being shocked no matter how much you like to do it, Pidge!”

 

There was some softer words that got clearer as they approached the door. “Now, my boy, if you would, hand us each wire when we ask for it. We will lock this foul monster out of our systems!” Coran sounded pleased.

 

Keith started to duck into the room but Shiro caught his arm, dragging him back a bit.

 

“Shiro! What?”

 

“We can’t, Keith.” Shiro didn’t like it, he really didn’t like it, but they had made a promise to Hunk, who in turn had promised Lance, and they could not break it. “We promised not to let Pidge know, remember? Lance is going to be upset enough knowing that we know.”

 

Keith literally growled. “Instead of hearing the truth about what we think and feel, he had some.. Some.. sadist hissing lies in his ear! I’m telling him now!”

 

Shiro tightened his hold, and clamped his other hand, the metal one on Keith’s shoulder. “Listen. I want to tell him now too. But we can’t. Not only will it make things worse for us with Lance, but think about Pidge! Do you want them to go looking for those messages? Do you want them to hear them and then worry that is what Matt is going through? Do you?”

 

Keith blew out a harsh breath, shoulders sagging. “No… but I’m just, so tired of him hurting…”

 

“I know Keith.. Me too.” Shiro drew him closer, wrapping him in a hug. They stood there for a long moment, just listening to their team talk.

 

“Black wire.” There was a pause, then. “Okay, that should make it so only the main communications line can receive outside messages. It’s not an ideal fix, but it will at least give us time to figure out something better.” There was a dull thud, “You will tell one of us if you get another message.”

 

“You got it.”

 

“Now, with that problem solved, let’s move on.”

 

“Now, now, Number 5, we should all be resting.” Coran announced, sounding much closer to the door than the other two.

 

“It’s cool, Coran. Pidgey here doesn’t sleep much. So, what’s the other problem?”

 

“The dreams. No matter what Hunk and I check, we cannot figure out why you aren’t seeing any. I mean, are you sure you haven’t dreamed of weird food, or a complicated Math problem?”

“Nope. Sorry.”

 

“Okay… I can’t believe I’m asking this… anything that you think might have been Shiro or Keith?”

 

Lance’s laugh echoed in the hall. “No, sorry, Pidge. Nothing but my usual every day nightmares. No change, I promise. It would have been cool to see Coran’s dreams, but I wouldn’t want him to see mine.”

 

“I would be honored!” Coran interrupted. “A dream is special to Alteans. It shows the truth of our souls, our deepest desires, our darkest fears, even our fondest memories.” Coran continued on, rambling poetic about dreams and how Alteans interpret them.

 

Based on that, Shiro knew that Lance would not be leaving that room anytime soon. Of all of them, he was the most likely to stay and listen to Coran’s stories. Frustrated, he tugged Keith along, quietly shushing his protests. “We will talk to Lance immediately in the morning. No more distractions, no more interruptions.”

 

“But…” Keith didn’t want to wait, especially hearing that Lance’s nightmares were common, and something he didn’t think was out of the ordinary. If Lance was going to have another nightmare, Keith wanted him close, so that they could soothe him properly afterward. “Ugh.. fine. First thing, Shiro. Even if we both wake up hours early because of another dream. First thing.”

 

…

 

_The bright lights of the city flashed past. Shades of neon danced across his skin. He went faster, his hair whipping around his face. The mirrored exteriors of the buildings blurred with the blues and purples and flashes of light until he was speeding through the night sky itself. The inky darkness stretched on forever, stars dancing past his vision._

 

_He was the sun, the only light in the sky. Black satin wrapped around him. The flaw was fading from his skin, so he went faster._

 

_Darkness gave way to the blinding light of noon in the desert as the dunes surrounded him on all sides. The road was hazy and warbled in front of him, but his two tires touched down as he drove through the desert that seemed endless._

 

_He looked down and his bare feet rested on lush grass. They carried him forward, the green stretching out a small distance in front of him, so much smaller than he remembered. Everything was green in a way only artificial plots could be. He was so slow on foot. Time seemed to stop._

 

_He laid down on the sun warmed ground, his head resting against a headstone. It's been a long time._

 

_The bees buzzed nearby. He found his face suddenly shaded. He opened his eyes. There stood Shiro, all comfort and righteousness and beautiful in front of him. He held out his hand to try to beckon him down, but Shiro’s soft smile turned sad._

 

_“Can't stay.”_

 

_“Just a little longer, Love?”_

 

_But he was already back in the shack. They all were. They had to get to the Blue Lion. He could feel an itch under his skin._

 

_They were in the cave. She sat there with her particle barrier up. They should be getting into the cockpit, but all he can see is his own face turned cold, mouth dripping venom. He can hear all the voices he doesn't recognize, and worse the ones that he does. The cave is drenched in purple light and he's all alone and all he can think is I can't save him, I can't save any of them._

 

He wakes to Shiro pressing gentle lips to his eyelids as tears escape from underneath.

 

“Sorry,” he croaks. “Sorry, that one was mine.”

 

Shiro runs fingers through his hair and pulls him closer. He calms quicker than expected, but he burrows his face into Shiro’s chest regardless.

 

“I could tell, it was different.”

 

“Yeah, they're always kinda jumpy…”

 

“And you called me Love.”

 

“Shh, don't tell my boyfriend, I never call him anything sweet.”

 

Shiro actually laughed, Keith slowly joining in.

 

“I'm honestly just glad it wasn't one of Lance’s… Wait, why wasn't it one of Lance's? He’s dreamt every night since this started…” Keith sat up, looking around the room like it held his answers.

 

“I don't know, maybe your dream was stronger? Blocked his out?”

 

“Where we in the same dream? I've never had a dream as vivid and sequential as Lance's.”

 

“Maybe he just wasn't dreaming right in that moment and it was enough.” Shiro frowned deeply. “Or, he's not sleeping. Coran mentioned he’s been drinking a lot of that fake coffee stuff and seemed exhausted. I thought it was just because of not sleeping well, but it could be intentional.”

 

“If those were my dreams,” Keith began, but he shook his head.

 

“Should we go check on him?”

 

“Yeah, I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep until we do.”

 

...

 

Man, the jitters suck.

 

Lance couldn't stop wiggling his hands, the last cup of space coffee sitting empty on the floor. He bounced around the cockpit a bit, avoiding his chair, he knew if he sat down he was a goner. He hummed something he could only vaguely remember the tune of, let alone the lyrics.

 

Blue thrummed around him. He could feel her energy and she was far from pleased. She had spent the better part of the last few hours trying to convince him to sleep. He launched into a story about hot dogs, and if she could have given him the Mom glare, she would have. Lance played with some of the random souvenirs he'd left stashed in her storage areas. He had a children’s toy he'd been given on one of the planet's they had liberated. He had stashed it and forgotten about it until now.

 

It was just supposed to be a simple puzzle game, disconnect a piece from the rest, but he'd already pinched his fingers in it twelve times and counting. He huffed and tossed it in his empty chair.

 

There was a music player Pidge had rigged up for him. It didn't play anything but music from a planet sized marketplace. It kind of sounded like cats crying with cicadas and a pot full of wet noodles being dropped on the floor. Pot and all. It wasn't good, but it was loud and it helped to drown out his intrusive thoughts. Well, some of them anyway.

 

He sat on the floor. He leaned in the corner. He sat on his console. He flopped on his stomach and dug around under the console for something, anything to keep him occupied. He sat back down on the floor.

 

It's a lot harder to avoid sleeping when you're also avoiding the rest of the Castle…

 

He sighed and picked back up the pinchy game. _Pinche_ game. He laughed to himself. It was going to be a long night he realized, rubbing at his eyes. He stood and leaned against the control panel, looking out of Blue’s big eyes.

 

“Wanna play I Spy,” he asked Blue, fighting back the yawn that pulled at him.

 

He watched Shiro and Keith walking their way.

 

“I spy with my little eye something hot… I mean, something black and something red…What? Haha, no, shh, Shiro’s saying something.”

 

“- and it’s not good for you. You can’t just stay up forever. I understand how tempting that can be, but trust me, it just makes things worse. If you’re comfortable with it, let us keep you company while you sleep. Sometimes it’s easier when someone’s there for you after…” Shiro shifted a little awkwardly when there wasn’t an immediate response.

 

“Thanks, but no thanks, Shiro,” Lance spoke through Blue’s speaker.

 

“Come on Lance,” Keith pleaded. “Those dreams are terrible, and I can’t even imagine waking up by yourself after one of them. Just let us take care of you. Please.”

 

“I’m not a little kid, Keith. I don’t need Mom and Dad after my nightmares. So I appreciate the grand reveal of your sickeningly cute relationship, but kindly fuck off.”

 

If this were any other week, Keith might have felt embarrassed, but he was so far past giving a shit. Instead, he just felt helpless. It wasn’t something he felt very often.

 

“Lance, just come down and talk with us.”

 

Silence engulfed the hangars. They waited and waited. They called Lance’s name a few more times, but when it was apparent he did not want them there, Shiro dragged his exhausted boyfriend back towards bed. He couldn’t let both of them run themselves into the ground.

 

Lance watched them leave. He shrugged, but the painful grimace on his face would have given him away if anyone had been around. He could already feel the tears running down his face. He picked up the puzzle game and threw it across the cockpit, slumping into his chair. He buried his head in his hands and cried. Blue pulsed around him, a soothing comfort he didn’t particularly want or deserve, but there nonetheless. In a surprisingly short time, the sniffles and wet hiccups turned to soft snores.

 

. . .

 

Keith closed the door behind them, already shedding his shirt as he bumbled around the room wanting nothing more than to pass out. Well, ok, he wanted Lance safe and happy more than that. And, ok, if he was being honest, he just wanted Lance in general more than that, but that was a long and hard road in front of him. He was prepared to walk it.  
  
Shiro came out of the washroom as they went to trade places when it caught his eye. Like sunspots in his eyes after looking into the sky and then back to earth. Shiro stepped around him, but it felt like he was drunk, because just a second too slow he was watching Shiro pace in his armor. Like a double exposure, he watched Shiro getting ready for bed and Shiro standing in front of him like he tended to when he was giving the team a rousing speech. Shiro near the bed yawned loudly. When his eyes opened, there was shock there. He was staring at himself. Well, at least he wasn’t the only one losing it. Armored Shiro stared hard at him. He had that face he tended to get when anyone mentioned Slav.   
  
“Listen up, team. We had to make a stop.” They could see the bedroom overlaid with the hues of brown and orange of some nondescript planet. “I think we’ll all feel a little lighter after.”   
  
Keith looked around. He could see Hunk and Pidge. Coran and Allura stood off to the side, aloof and barely acknowledging Armored Shiro’s words. He saw his own face. He looked desperately for Lance, until he caught sight of his arm, it was Lance’s jacket… Out of the corner of his eye, he registered Shiro looking down at himself as well.   
  
“Finally, we are shedding some dead weight,” Armored Shiro announced, his hard eyes peered straight at him. “I personally thought we should toss him out the airlock, but handing him over to Lotor seems like a much better idea.”   
  
“How pathetic, he’s crying again,” Not Keith sneered. “Can you believe he ever thought he could be one of us? Some Paladin…”   
  
“Let’s just leave him, already,” Pidge called over their shoulder as they walked back into the Castle. They didn’t say goodbye.

Hunk shook his head. “I have real friends now.. You just.. Don’t measure up.” He smiled then, looking relieved and chased after Pidge.

Coran and Allura both gave him looks of distaste before following the other two.  
  
“Disgusting… god, you really are worthless.” Armored Shiro shook his head.   
  
“I feel dirty just looking at him,” Not Keith added. “Can we go now, Babe, I’m tired of looking at it.”   
  
“Yeah. Hey, do you think Hunk has any more of that soup stuff?”   
  
“I don’t know, why don’t we-”   
  
He watched as they walked away, as if they weren’t leaving behind someone detrimentally important. Keith tried to call out to himself, to Shiro. They paid him no mind and left as if they had just dropped off the trash. As if he was so meaningless he didn’t even garner an emotion from any one of them.   
  
Keith was unable to do anything about the sentries that grabbed at his arms and yanked Lance straight through his body, crying, but all the fight gone from him.   
  
As soon as it had started, it was over and Keith was left with his Shiro. Left with the sterile walls of the bedroom. Left with a sickness in his gut.

 

. . .

 

He jerked so hard that Lance smacked his forehead on the console hard enough he saw stars for a moment. Wide eyes darted about, and the cockpit was full of the sounds of sharp gasps. Blue crooned, a calm warmth soothing the usual panic Lance always felt when he woke up. He’d been having nightmares for years, always regularly, a by product of school bullies and always coming up a little short in whatever he attempted. Then there was the lake, hard to forget a place you nearly died after all.

 

Honestly, what was he still doing here?? It wasn’t like he was actually needed. Lotor had stated that Allura could fly any of the lions and she didn’t disagree. He wasn’t smart like Pidge or good like Hunk.. He couldn’t do anything like Keith or be as strong as Shiro… He wasn’t Coran, who knew so much… He was just.. Lance.

 

It was time to go. He had never been good at knowing when his welcome was up. But, it was time. He didn’t have good strong bonds with the others, even if his one with Blue seemed fine. Allura barely tolerated him, and if Shiro and Keith ever found out how he felt.. Well they would throw him out so fast he wouldn’t even have time to blink.

 

Where should he go? He sure as hell wasn’t going to Lotor, that was certain. He’d rather Keith just run him through with his bayard first. He couldn’t go home, not knowing that the others were still fighting. Not until they got home.. That was what cowards did, and Lance was a lot of things but he wasn’t a coward. So where could a lonely ex-paladin go? He could go back to Arus, it was far enough away that they likely wouldn’t look for him there, and it was also in the extreme opposite direction of Lotor, which Lance approved of. Arus it was.

 

He left his bayard in Blue, for Allura or whomever might come after him, and he took several long minutes to try and explain to his lion, the Blue Lion, why he had to do this. This wasn’t his place. Not anymore. He didn’t need much, a gun from the armory, just in case, and some water and rations, enough to get him to Arus. After that, he can ditch the pod and go wherever space took him. He had a plan, he was ready. Lance took one last look at Blue, then ducked into the pod. Better to leave first, than to get thrown out… right?

 

. . .

 

Shiro had headed to talk to Coran, while Keith went to the hangars. Someone needed to let them know that things were only getting worse, and Shiro was still the Head of Voltron, no matter how personal the whole situation had become. Keith was practically sprinting down the long halls, skidding around corners. He almost toppled over something small and green.

 

“Shit- sorry, Pidge, I-”

 

Pidge shoved a data screen into his face before he could even finish his thought. The bright markers and lines and graphs meant nothing to him.

 

“Quintessence! He's using quintessence!”

 

“What?”

 

Pidge rolled their eyes. “Lotor. He’s tracking Lance with quintessence! You know, like Zarkon tracked Black?” Pidge only wanted a tick before sighing. “That means anywhere Lance may go, Lotor can find him.”

 

“How the hell do we stop it?” Keith continued his rush towards the hangars, slowing his pace to make sure Pidge could keep up.

 

Pidge directed a Look at Keith, it was one generally reserved for any question they considered extremely stupid. “We can’t. Unless we magically change Lance into something and someone totally different, we can’t. It’s like DNA, Keith. It’s always the same.”

 

“Fuck.” Keith stopped in his tracks and faced Pidge. “Then he has to die. Lotor has to die, preferably sooner rather than later.” Keith looked positively manic. “This is destroying Lance.”

 

“What?” Pidge actually pulled their glasses off to stare. “He was fine last night. Keith.. What do you mean?”

 

Shit.

 

“Ok… You and Hunk aren't the only ones sharing dreams. Shiro and I have been seeing Lance’s dreams for days. And I can't fight a dream, Pidge! I can't help him! He won't listen to anything we say to him because that bastard has poisoned him!”

 

Pidge stared for a full 20 ticks before they pulled back and punched Keith as hard as they could in the shoulder. “You jackass. So you’re just gonna give up? Quit? I thought you didn’t ever give up? Do you honestly think anything about Lance is easy? Of course not!”

 

“I'm not giving up, I love him!” Keith froze. Wait. Pidge’s eyes widened. He hadn't meant to say that, not that it wasn't true, but...

 

They took a sharp breath. “If Lance is poisoned, give him an antidote. If he’s sad, make him smile. You can’t fix anything quickly, Keith. And I should punch you again for making me have _feelings_. Go find Lance. I’ll update Shiro.”

 

Keith nodded, a little dazed from his own surprise admission, but he took off on his original course. He ran into the hangar and nearly tripped over himself in his relief to see everything as it was before. If he had to scale the Blue Lion to get Lance to listen, he would. He could feel the smile already pulling at the corners of his mouth. Pidge was right. He was going to do whatever it took. He wasn't going to quit on Lance. Not ever.

 

As he approached Blue, he could feel Red pushing against his consciousness. She was mad at him? She was frantic. She was was telling him too much all at once, he paused and turned towards her a little bit. She wasn't making a lot of sense but he caught _Lance_ and _Blue_ and _hurry._ He turned to Blue, fear creeping up his spine. He only sprinted a step or two before he realized she was trying to get his attention for something. Red confirmed in the back of his mind. They were looking at an empty spot where Keith knew there should have been an escape pod.

 

He swiped up the control panel, praying to whatever might be out there that it would have Lance’s destination programmed into it. Lance was smarter than that though. Keith couldn't find the course set or the flight path or even track him. Lance clearly did not want to be followed. Panic crawled it's way into his throat. He sent a silent plea to Red to reach out to Allura and to have the other Lions get the attention of their Paladins. He spared no time finding his extra suit and changing into it, climbing into Red as the others came rushing in.

 

Pidge arrived first, being far closer to the hangars than the rest. They did nothing more than take one look at Keith’s face, before rushing to get ready. They could ask their questions later. Hunk was next, puffing slightly. Unlike Pidge, he took the time to stare before he opened his mouth.

 

“Is it an attack? Is it that Lotor guy? Can I hit him? Where’s everyone else? Keith? You don’t look good…” Hunk finally started moving toward his lion, but he didn’t take his eyes off Keith

 

“Lance is gone! He left, and he covered his tracks! I'm going out to look for him,” Keith called as he slammed his helmet over his head and closed the hatch to Red. He could already hear Allura in his ear.

 

“Keith, what is going on? Shiro is on his way to the hangar but I need to know what has happened.”

 

“Lance took a pod and left. He cleared the data on the control panel, so I have no idea where he's going, and he disabled the tracker. I'm going out to look for him. He… he is in a bad place, and we need to find him right now.”

 

Allura sounded so much younger when she answered. “Of course. Coran and I will scan the surrounding areas as best we can.”

 

. . .

 

Hours later and still nothing. Shiro felt like a rubber band ready to snap. He knew Keith was probably just as bad, if not worse. Hunk had already cried at least three times and Shiro had stopped trying to reign in Pidge’s cursing.

 

They had flown in ever widening circles, but not even Pidge had been able to pick up on Lance’s trail. Allura had tried to call them back. It was late and they were all worse for wear, but not one of them had followed her orders to return to the Castle. Shiro could see a small fleck of red out of his window. He knew they weren't getting anywhere, but he couldn't let go. Keith popped up on a private screen.

 

“Anything?” He looked so tired. For once Shiro was reminded just how young he was. How young they all were and how he wished they hadn't had to live the horrors that they had.

 

“Nothing…” He rubbed at his face. “Allura said Coran has been trying to reach the pod comms, but since Lance managed to block the tracker, they're having a hard time getting through.”

 

“You think Pidge could do it?”

 

Shiro shrugged. If Lance didn't want to be found, Shiro was pretty sure they weren't going to find him. He pushed a couple buttons and brought up a feed with Pidge.

 

“Pidge, how do you feel about helping Allura and Coran try to locate and hack comm lines to Lance?”

 

“If the tracker is jammed, I don't know if it's possible, but I guess it's worth a shot…”

 

“Take Hunk with you, both of you eat and let me know what you find out.”

 

He wanted to tell them to sleep, but he knew they wouldn't. Not until either Lance was found, or they passed out from the exertion. Pidge nodded and their screen blipped out. Shiro shifted his gaze to the screen showing Keith. His head was in his hands, but his breathing seemed relatively even.

 

“Do you want to go back with them?”

 

“No.”

 

“You look tired, and I'm pretty sure Red will be pissed if you drop right out of the sky.”

 

“As if she'd let me fall,” Keith scoffed. “I'm searching until we find him.”

 

“Keith, you know I feel the same, but we can only do so much. If we’re all dead on our feet, if something happens, we'll all be dead. I'm not saying we give up looking, so stop giving me that look, but we need to be smarter about it.”

 

“Ok, so what, what do we do?”

 

“We go back, we eat whatever Hunk throws together, and then we figure out shifts. Otherwise, we'll be so tired we could literally pass right by him and not even notice.”

 

Keith didn't like it, but he also didn't have any better ideas, so he agreed and they headed back.

 

. . .

 

“Ok, Shiro, I boosted the signal as much as possible. I don't know how much it will help at this point, but he comes into range, it should tell us,” Pidge all but yawned.

 

“Good work, Pidge. Go get some sleep, make sure Hunk goes too, I'll watch for awhile.”

 

Pidge nodded. He wasn't sure if they would actually go to sleep, but at the very least they might be able to drag Hunk from the kitchen and convince him to sleep some. Shiro eyed Keith, slumped over his console, looking wistfully towards Lance’s chair. Shiro approached, placing his hand on Keith’s back.

 

“Why don't you go lie down?”

 

“Mmm.”

 

Shiro chuckled. “Babe, I don't think you're using words.”

 

Keith rolled his head to the side. “Imma stay here.”

 

“Keith, I love you, but if I see you in any less than three hours, I'm throwing you in the brig.”

 

“Do we even have a brig?”

 

“I have no idea. Go sleep.”

 

He pulled Keith into a standing position, kissed him and gently pushed him out of the room. Shiro settled in, eyes glued to the radar.

 

. . .

 

It was weird going to bed without Shiro. It was even weirder how quickly that had happened. The room seemed cold, lifeless. He pulled off his boots and climbed across the bed. He pulled the corner of the bedding and rolled with it until he was somewhat covered. As soon as his head hit the pillow, it was lights out.

 

_Neon lights and glass building fronts blurred by. He could feel strong arms around his waist. He smirked and went faster, laughter bubbled up behind him. They drove through warm hill country, the day beautiful and calm. They drove through the desert, thunderheads just on the horizon. They stopped when they reached the beach, waves crashing on the sand. He hopped off the bike and turned. There Lance sat on the back of the seat. He was radiant, warm like the sun after a long cold night._

 

_Keith took his hand. It fit so perfect in his own. The waves crashed around them. They splashed and circled each other. Laughing, happy, beautiful. Keith reached out and touched his skin kissed cheek. His chest ached with how much he felt for Lance._

 

_“Look at you,” Keith breathed. He felt light, like even if they weren't chest deep in the ocean, he would still float._

 

_“What,” Lance laughed._

 

_“I would go to the end of the universe for you.” Keith pulled him in close, placing their foreheads together. Lance laughed and hugged him just as tight._

 

_Shiro called out to them. They were barefoot on the beach, the three of them walking along the shore. Lance piggy backed onto Shiro._

 

_They walked through the lush forrest, more green than he had ever seen._

 

_They walked through the Castle halls, laughter echoing around them._

 

_The bed that barely fit him and Shiro sometimes seemed to be the perfect space for three bodies. Limbs tangled, and skin brushing as they settled in. Shiro and Keith bracketed Lance. Shiro ran his hand through Lance’s short hair, Lance sighing. Keith nuzzled into his shoulder. Breathed him in._

 

_“I love you both so much,” Keith mumbled into Lance's skin._

 

_Shiro pulled them both closer. Peppering them with chaste kisses. Keith tickled Lance just to hear his laugh one more time before kissing him soft and sweet. “The the end of the universe,” he whispered against soft lips._

 

When he rolled over into the empty space next to him, it was like a punch to the gut. He reached out to where they were supposed to be. His head pounded, but he didn't have it in him to cry. He just lay there staring into space, feeling the hollowness of knowing that dream would probably never be a reality.

 

. . .

 

Lance blinked awake, confused, and never more aware of how alone he really was. He’d never had a dream like that. His were never so bright, and happy. There was a fading warmth in his chest, and Lance wanted.. Oh how he _wanted_ that dream to have been real. His eyes roved around the pod, taking in his life now. The small pile of rations and water pouches on the seat next to him, wrapped up in one of Pidge’s green cleaning rags, a tiny Balmerian crystal no bigger than his pinky, that Hunk had given him after a trip to visit Shay. There was an Altean coin, that he had found and Coran helped him turn into a necklace, Lance hadn’t taken it off since. He had a card in his back pocket, full of common Altean words Allura had written for him to practice. There was a tiny bit of metal that he had kept from one of Blue’s repairs, a red hair band, he kept around his wrist that he had stolen from Keith. That was it, everything he had to show for his time as a Paladin.  

 

Sitting there in the silent pod, looking at the scattered bits of his friends, the warm feeling from that dream still fading, Lance realized, he had something from everyone, except for Shiro. Was it because they weren’t that close? Or did Shiro just guard his things better than everyone else did. Lance had always collected bits and pieces of his friends or family, but somehow he had missed Shiro. He sniffed, of course Lance would forget to take a memento of one of the two people he loved almost as much as his family.

 

His eyes darted to the communications switch. He really shouldn’t. It was better to make a clean break. Just let them forget him. But, that warmth was still there. He could almost feel the phantom arms from the dream still wrapped around him. He was so focused on holding that feeling on the nostalgia his treasures brought him, that he reached out and flicked the switch on without really thinking about it.

 

For a full thirty ticks he stared at the blinking red light, before he took a shaky breath and finally spoke. “T..this is..” He swallowed and steadied his voice. “This is McClain calling the Castle of Lions.” That was better, not terribly personal, he can say goodbye, and wish them well. They deserve that.

 

When Shiro heard the moment of white noise, followed by Lance's voice, he practically fell out of his chair and slammed his hand down on the comms, his voice shaky. “Jesus, Lance, are you ok?”

 

Lance winced. That was not exactly what he had been expecting. He was sure he would get Allura or Coran and could just pass on his goodbye and call it done. What to say, what to say? He took another breath and clenched his hands around the little crystal. “Yes, sir.”

 

 _Yes, sir?_ Shiro felt his stomach drop. If he wasn't so relieved to hear Lance’s voice, he might be a little heartbroken by the detached formality. His voice was soft when he pushed the button. “Lance, where- where are you?”

 

Oh holy _shit_. That was Shiro’s Keith voice. The gentle one he only used when they thought it was just the two of them. Lance never in his life expected to hear it directed at him, ever. “I..left. I just..” Damnit, why was this so hard? Because it was Shiro. The only way it could possibly be harder was if Keith was there too. “It.. it was time, Shiro.”

 

“Time? Lance, we looked for you. We’re still looking for you. Please tell me you're safe.”

 

They… looked for him? Lance blinked, and rubbed at his face. “Yeah, I’m okay.. nothing here but me..” He leaned forward, eyes absently tracking his course. “I’m..sorry.” He was so sorry, sorry for so many things. “I just.. couldn’t pretend anymore that I.. belonged there...” He sniffed, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes.

 

Shiro felt his heart shattering. He had to make him understand. “Lance. You belong here… you belong on this team and in this Castle. You belong with Pidge and Hunk and Coran and Allura. You belong with me and Keith. This is your home… and we- we’re your family. Right? Because, you're my family… all of ours, and we- we really want you to come home.”

 

Lance choked on a sob. “I..I want to belong there… I brought little pieces of everyone with me.. Except you.. I don’t have anything from you..” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, it’s ..silly, isn’t it?” He took a breath, more like a gasp. “I just..” He didn’t really want to be here anymore. He wanted to go back. But, he also didn’t.. Allura would yell, and so would Pidge.. Probably.. Keith would just roll his eyes like he did whenever Lance screwed up.. Coran and Hunk would look all disappointed.. “I..I’m scared.”

 

“Sweethe- Lance… I never want you to be scared of us… of your home or place in it. Everyone wants you to come back,” Shiro laughed a small broken thing. “If it makes you feel better, I'm scared too…”

 

Was he.. Lance shoved the thought away. That stupid dream was getting his hopes up, that was all. “Shiro… you aren’t scared of anything.” It was yet another reason why Lance was so different from the rest of them. He gave up. “I just..” Should he even mention it? Would Shiro really care? He sounded like he did, but it was so hard to believe. “I had a dream tonight… It was strange.. I was… happy?” Way to sound like a loser, Lance. “Nevermind.” Well, he wanted to become something better. May as well start now. “I.. okay. I don’t really think it will work out well… but okay.”

 

“Ha, I'm scared all the time, actually. Tonight, I was scared I wasn't going to see you again. But-” Shiro couldn't help but tear up a little. “I'm really glad you're coming back, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure your dreams are good, stay good.” He didn't know what he was saying anymore. He hadn't slept, maybe he wasn't making any sense, but he would say whatever he had to if he meant Lance would come home.

 

Lance couldn’t really hold back his tears anymore. “Oh..Okay. Um.” He sounding like a sobbing child. He was going to say what he needed to then close the line so he could be a baby all on his own. “I’ll head back now.. I.. don’t know how long it will take..” He knew exactly how long it would take, but he needed the time to calm down, shove all his emotions back in their box, and be ready to face the consequences. “I’ll… see you soon, Shiro.”

 

Shiro hiccuped a little, his voice was as watery as his eyes. “Be safe, Lance... I'll see you when you get here…”

 

...

 

If Lance was here, he’d rag on him endlessly for how much of a child he looks right now. He knows his hair is going in every direction, eyes puffy from exhaustion and crying, and the blanket from Shiro’s bed wrapped around him. He wished he was here. Keith shuffled into the control room, Shiro turned as he approached.

 

“Is it too early, you gonna throw me in the brig?” His voice had no real tease to it, it sounded about as hollow as he felt. The light in Shiro’s eyes made him stop in his tracks. He’d expected sleepy, grumpy, grunting Shiro…

 

“He’s ok! Lance is ok.”

 

Keith tangled in the blanket as he rushed over to Shiro’s side.

 

“You found him? Where is he? He’s not hurt, he’s-” So much for thinking he’d cried himself out.

 

“Shh, hey, it’s ok.” Shiro rubbed his arms, beaming like it was Christmas morning. “I just talked to him… he’s coming home.”

 

“H-how?” Keith’s eyes roved over the screen in front of them. “I don’t even see him, how’d you reach him?”

 

“Actually, he contacted us…”

 

“Why?... I mean, fucking thank god, but why, we weren’t even close to finding him…”

 

“I don’t know, he said… something about dreaming about being happy… and he took a part of each of us with him.” Shiro’s laugh startled him. “Except apparently me, but-”

 

“Wait go back… Dreaming? What did he say? What exactly did he say?”

 

“He said he’d had a dream… he was happy. I think he called… because he wants to try and be happy.”

 

Keith’s legs were like jelly. He plopped down in the chair Shiro had been sitting in. Lance was so far away, was it even possible for him to see Keith’s dream?

 

“Shiro… I want- I want Lance to be with us…” Keith looked up into Shiro’s soft eyes. “I feel like maybe you do to?”

 

“Keith, I’ve known since we shot into space inside of the Blue Lion that there was something between you and Lance. At first, I was sad because I knew I’d lost my chance.” Shiro cupped Keith face in his hands.”But then I thought, maybe he was better for you anyway, I mean I was broken-”

 

“God, the two of you-” Keith’s fingers curled around Shiro’s wrists.

 

Shiro laughed. “And then, I was mostly irritated, because you wouldn’t stop bickering all the time. But I saw how smart he is and much he cares, and I’ve never had to try so hard to hide my laughter during important missions, and I realized why he was driving you crazy. He was driving me crazy too. I want the same thing… well, same person.”

 

“So, what… we just confess our undying love for him when gets back,” Keith joked, leaning further into Shiro’s touch.

 

“Why don’t we take back a notch, huh, hothead,” Shiro laughed. “But, I think first we need to figure out what it is we want.”

 

“I want you and I want Lance, I thought I just said that.”

 

“No listen for a minute. The last thing we want, is for Lance to think Lotor was right, and that all we want is a…” A bit of red appeared on the tips of Shiro’s ears. “Ahem.. Good time.”

 

“What are you, an eighty year old lady,” Keith teased. “But, you’re right. I don’t want him for...that. Well, ok, maybe that, but… later. Anyway!... I want to be able to call you both stupid gross names, which I know he’ll be infinitely better at than me. And to fight for space in that tiny ass bed, and just, I don’t know, love you, both of you.” His face burned. He wasn’t very good at this stuff, but Shiro and Lance made him want to try.

 

“That’s a pretty good start… I want my room to cluttered in all that junk you both like to keep around, I want you both so entwined in my life that I’m not even sure where my stuff ends and your stuff begins. I want to kiss you both good morning and goodnight. I want always feel wanted.”

 

“And special.”

 

“And loved. I want to watch both of your backs and know you’re watching mine.”

 

“I just want you two idiots to be happy…with me… obviously.”

 

“Obviously,” Shiro agreed, his nose bumping against Keith’s. “When he gets back, we can talk to him.”

 

“Good.”

 

Shiro leaned in the last little bit of space and kissed him. It was subdued for them, but by far the most emotional they had ever shared. Keith kissed back with all the promises of fulfilling his wants on the tip of his tongue. Shiro gave him one last peck before helping him up. He didn’t know just how long it would take Lance to get back, but they wanted to be there when he did.

 

...

 

When Lance arrived back the ship was as silent as it had been when he left. His steps echoed throughout the empty hangar, unerringly leading him toward Blue. He stared up at her, her brilliant color, her height, power, all of it making him feel oh so small. Lance had abandoned her… How could she ever want him back? Despite knowing that he should go find Shiro now that he was back, Lance couldn’t really bring himself to move away from the lion.

 

Finally with a sigh, he nodded. It had been his choice to leave, and he would accept the consequences. If that meant Blue no longer wanted him, then so be it. If that meant the others didn’t trust him anymore, alright then.. If Allura asked him to leave.. Well if nothing else he already had a pod stocked. He blinked to try and clear his vision, before turning toward the hangar door, but there was a sharp jerk and he lost his balance.

 

The next thing Lance really knew, he was curled up in the crook of his Lion’s leg, her head resting right next to him. Her warmth filled him, loving him, forgiving him and he sniffed a few times before wrapping himself around her nose as well as he could.

 

Several long minutes passed, while Lance cried on his lion, and he never noticed the two standing in the hangar door. For once, it wasn’t hard to wait, it was easy to fight the urge to run across the hangar, to wrap him up in their arms. Because like Keith and Shiro, Blue wanted Lance safe, would fight to keep him that way, would harm others to insure his safety.

 

“I’m sorry girl.. I just.. Didn’t know what else to do.” Lance kept his face pressed against the side of Blue’s nose. “I’m just so tired of it all.. I didn’t feel like I had place unless I was with you.. Pidge and Hunk are so smart that it’s easy to see they were leaving me behind. And.. It was obvious that Keith and Shiro were meant to be.” He scooted a little bit closer, Blue’s leg covering the open space he left behind. “So where was my place? Not with Hunk and Pidge.. I’m not smart enough to keep up…  Allura and Coran are too busy for me most of the time… Not with Keith and Shiro.. Even before..” Lance bit his lip and shook his head. “Nope, not going to think about that yet.” He wanted to believe that dream, wanted to know for certain that it was more than his own mind playing tricks on him again. He wanted to know that Shiro was telling the truth when Lance called the Castle. Hope hurt.

 

A sniff. “Then.. the messages started. I thought, oh it’s a joke, Pidge is just bored, no big deal.. Then I got another and there was no way that one could be a joke. So I did what I thought was right, but they wouldn’t stop...and I..” He pressed his cheek to the cold metal of her muzzle. He took a minute to revel in the comfort she brought him. When he started talking again, his voice was a little stronger. “So.. Where could I go? Not home… I had no right to go there, especially if everyone else was still here. So I made the only choice I could.”

 

Keith’s hands curled into fists and he stared at the floor. Had they really messed up so badly that Lance had thought his only choice was Lotor? Shiro wasn’t in much better shape, taking a sharp breath, torn between relief that Lance was right there, and sorrow that Lance had thought he had no choice.

 

“I decided to go to Arus.” Lance announced, head tucked partially under Blue’s jaw, the sounds of her shifting more around him hiding the two gasps from the doorway. “It’s far away, so the team couldn’t find me, but it was also in a free area of space. It would have taken me a long time.. but I thought.. Maybe that would clear my slate. Spend my time alone, maybe finally grow into a decent person… I figured… If I couldn’t be a paladin, then maybe I could just protect Arus...“ Lance lowered his voice, but the whisper still sounded loud in the eerie quiet of the hangar. “Did I make the right choice? I mean.. I could have kept drifting, passing the stars and planets… Maybe never go anywhere.. Just, floating...“ He stilled, then shook his head. “Thank you, Blue.. But..” He took a deep breath, “It’s time to pay the piper.” He started working his way out the odd nest of lion that was curled around him. It was slow going, as Blue kept nudging him back, but Lance had made his choices and Blue, no matter how amazing and forgiving she was, couldn’t protect him forever.

 

“Let me help you.” There stood Shiro, his hand held out to him, a smile like sunshine on his face.

 

Lance wiggled a bit, working his head out and blinked up at Shiro. “Uh.. thanks.” He stuck his own arm out, but almost tipped over, grabbing Shiro’s forearm instead of his hand.

 

“Easy. We just got you back safe and sound, Keith’ll kill me if you twist your ankle or something.”

 

“I’m sorry… are we talking about the same Keith? The one that _broke_ my ankle in training? And three fingers?” Lance’s automatic reaction to uncomfortable situations was to joke, and it rarely got more uncomfortable for him than this.

 

“That was mostly your fault.” Keith stood stiffly behind Shiro. “...I’m glad you’re home.”

 

Lance really couldn’t argue, it probably had been. “Yeah.. uh, thanks..” He glanced down at the floor, then took a deep breath. “Okay, let me have it.”

 

Keith wrapped him in his arms. He couldn’t wait any longer, he had wanted to make sure it was ok, but he just needed to hug Lance. “I’m sorry, I really suck at this, and Shiro is going to say it so much better in a second, but I just really need to tell you how important you are. To the team, but honestly, right now, fuck that, you’re important to me… I meant all that stuff I said the other day. And… I want to make you happy… like in my dream.”

 

Lance blinked. This was the second time that he had wound up in a hug from Keith. He had been expecting a lecture, maybe the, eye roll he pictured before. Certainly the ‘I’m so disappointed speech’ but a hug, nope, no way. Then Keith started talking and honestly half of it Lance didn’t even understand. “Um.. thank you?” Wow, he was zero for two at not sounding like a moron. Try again, Lance. “But… um.. I don’t know what stuff you mean.. I uh..” He turned his head slightly to the side, unable to look at Keith when he said this. “The other day, cycle.. Whatever.. When you guys came into my room and were talking to me.. I uh..” He took a short breath. “I didn’t hear you. I um.. Got another message while you were there and.. Well…”

 

“We know, Lance.” Shiro stepped a little bit closer. “We heard the messages, and I know it was hard to really believe what we said, but none of that stuff that Lotor said is even remotely true. And the dreams were even more off base. We would never hand you over to Lotor, or anyone for that matter, and no one in this Castle thinks those terrible things about you.”

 

Lance paled at hearing they knew about the messages. “You.. but..” His shoulders dropped and he shook his head several time. “But.. if you heard them… why..? Wait..” He was so confused. “Dreams?” He paled a little more. “You really saw them?”

 

“Yeah,” Keith bit out. “I’ve never hated sleeping so much in my life. You know, I think I actually punched Shiro during one of them…”

 

In a move, he had actually learned from Keith, Lance ducked out of his hold, and took a step back, eyes fixed on Keith. “Oh… I’m so sorry. I..I.. I never wanted anyone to see those..” He studied the floor again. “But.. then.. You know what other people think.. Huh?”

 

“What do you- Lance, no, that’s not what other people think…” Shiro shook his head. “Hunk cried for hours after you left. Pidge has only ever searched so hard for their Dad and Matt. I’m pretty sure Coran blames the entire thing on himself and Allura even had the mice helping them scan for you… We all wanted you home…”

 

Lance hands slowly rose and wrapped around his upper arms. “Not those.. The other ones. Those were… all things I’ve heard before. And.. that lake.. Well.” He shrugged. “I uh.. um, maybe, almost died there once?”

 

“Lance…” Keith’s voice was soft. “Fuck those other people. No, really, if they can’t see how smart and talented and beautiful you are, then they aren’t worth your time.”

 

Shiro put his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Nightmares tend to warp things. Your fears and feelings are legitimate, but that lake can’t hurt you any more than a nasty comment from someone billions of lightyears away. And Keith’s right, you’re too good for all that.”

 

The hand on Lance’s shoulder slowly pulled him forward. Shiro eased him in, if he had wanted to resist, he could have, but soon enough, his arms were wrapped tightly around Lance. He breathed him in, eyes just this side of misty.

 

“And, if it takes forever, Keith and I are going to try and prove it to you.”

 

Shiro smelled like steel on a winter morning, completely different from Keith, who kinda smelled like a summer bonfire. It suited them, really, but Lance was just so confused. “But.. why? I mean.. I don’t really.. fit here.. I’m just .. kinda me.”

 

Keith screwed up his face at that. “You’re the reason any of us are here… you brought us all together… you always bring us all together… and if it wasn’t for you, we’d all either be dead or abandoned ship.”

 

“But..” As comfortable as he was, pressed up to Shiro, Lance needed to be able to see Keith. He couldn’t quite manage to wiggle out, but he did turn enough to look at him properly. “Pidge complains about me more than you do. You just roll your eyes when I mess up. Hunk gets bored with me, now.. I .. I’m confused.”

 

Keith looked horrified. He quickly looked from Lance to Shiro and back again. “I’m a fucking idiot… I- christ- I really like you Lance….”

 

“And I know for a fact Pidge sees you like a brother figure,” Shiro added. “I’ve caught them trying to tail you just to have reason to pretend you’re driving them crazy. And Hunk loves you more than food and stable gravity.”

 

Lance’s mouth hung open for a minute. “But.. but..” He pointed at Keith. “You have Shiro, and… wait…” He blinked several times then he almost shrieked. “That was _your_ dream!!”

 

“One I’ve had before too…” Keith smiled. “Did you… is that something… will you date me and Shiro?”

 

“Ok, a little brash, but what Keith is trying to say, is that we both really care for you Lance. We both want to make you happy, because you make both of us happy. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with, or interested in…”

 

Honestly, Lance was still hung up on the fact he had seen Keith’s dream. He heard the words, but they hadn’t quite registered yet. “But.. I.. I haven’t had a dream that nice in years.. Why didn’t I..” Then, it hit him, and Lance stared at Keith for a long minute then twisted to look up at Shiro. “Wait.. did did you just.. Am I..” Stammering was getting him exactly nowhere. Breathe. Try again.

 

“You guys said you saw.. All my dreams right.. And you heard.. all the messages?” His voice was much lower now.

 

“Yes, we did.” Answered Shiro. “Some pretty ugly stuff up here, huh?” He carded his hand through Lance’s hair. “But, Lance, none of that is real. And the things Lotor said were sick and twisted and a way to wound you. But we won’t let him take you. Ever.”

 

“No.. that.. Uh, wasn’t what I meant..” Lance stumbled with his words again. “In the messages… and the dreams.. I couldn’t have you. Either of you. How does any of that make you think… I’m not interested? I’m just.. confused. I mean.. You never showed any signs.”

 

“Well, to be honest, Keith here thought you were straight for the longest time-”

 

“Hey!”

 

“But, we had a lot to work on with each other too… it didn’t seem fair to bring you into the middle of our mess.”

 

Lance sighed, and twisted again, looking over at Blue this time. She was still laying down, but Lance could tell her eyes hadn’t left him once. “Are you really sure that you want me there? I mean.. I’m not like you two.. I don’t really do, quiet.. and I always take too long in the bathroom, and I’m not as strong as you or good at the training… I just..” He finally dragged his eyes away from his lion. “I need you to be sure, because, if we start this and you change your mind in a couple of weeks…I’m not really sure I can handle it.”

 

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since third period aeronautics,” Keith huffed. “I don’t plan on changing my mind.”

 

“I’m with Keith, we’ve fallen for you Lance. It’s hard to imagine you not being a part of us.”

 

Lance bit the inside of his cheek, chewing on it for a minute. It was honestly exactly what he had wanted to hear. “I know you’ve never heard me say this… but ask Hunk about it sometime. I can literally spot your mullet anywhere, Keith… And.. I’ve looked up to Shiro for a long time.. But I didn’t love him like I do now, until we got here…” He straightened a bit. “I’d be an absolute idiot to say no…”

 

“So, yes, right? That’s a yes? You’re our boyfriend now,” Keith asked excitedly. “I can call you stupid pet names and hold your hand and everything?”

 

Lance laughed, “Yes. But.. only if I can do the same..” He was a little unsure. He’d never heard Keith or Shiro use any kind of fond term for each other. Lance thought Shiro might have been about to earlier.. But he hadn’t been sure.

 

“Fuck, yes!” Keith threw his arms around him once more in just a quick hug before pulling back to smile at Shiro.

 

“So, it’s been a really long night, and you both look pretty beat. Lance, I don’t want to ask you to do anything you aren’t ready for or comfortable with, but if you wanted to sleep in our room… we wouldn’t be opposed.”

 

Lance bit his cheek again. He did. The bed in Shiro’s room was absurdly small, but Lance still wanted to try. But.. “Um.. can I try something first? Just to uh.. Do a trial run?”

 

Shiro nodded looking to Keith who shrugged and nodded as well. “Yeah, of course.”

 

“Okay.” Lance leaned up, for once happy with his height and pressed a quick kiss to Shiro’s mouth before ducking a bit and doing the same to Keith. Then he promptly looked at the floor.

 

“Yeah, ok, I’ve been waiting too long for this,” Keith grunted before kissing Lance more fully. He only gently placed a hand on his neck in case he wanted to pull away, but began to smile into the kiss as Lance stayed, moving his mouth against his. When they pulled away, Shiro was staring hungrily at them, ten shades of red on his cheeks.

 

“You two are going to kill me.”

 

Lance was almost as red as Shiro, but he was smiling slightly. He shifted a bit then yawned, hurriedly covering his mouth. “Sorry…”

 

“Don’t be,” Shiro chuckled. “Look, as excited as I think we all are, it’s been a pretty intense week and I think we should take things slow… make sure everyone is on the same page and no one feels pressured… so, how about I wake the others up and we drag all the blankets and pillows into the lounge, have like a sleepover?”

 

Lance smiled, and shyly reached for Keith’s hand. “That.. sounds nice.”

 

They headed out of the hangars, all three hand in hand.

 

Until they reached the corner and Keith yelled race ya and Lance tore off after him.

 

Shiro heaved a sigh. “They’re gonna kill me.”


End file.
